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1. A cool AF selection of collegiate tailgate gear so you won't be caught wearing the same thing as everyone else.
2. A plastic flask to get your booze through metal detectors because sticking airplane bottles in your boots is fooling no one.
3. A folding stadium seat because you'll only last on those hard bleachers as long as your backside.
4. A dozen sports berries that'll go over well as long as you don't jokingly ask, "So which one's the football?"
5. A cozy sweatshirt to convince your crew that you're into football and not just screaming the other f-word over and over again along with them because it's fun.
6. An NFL team pride blanket because you can be a fan of most anything when you're cozy for the game.
7. A ~versatile~ cap with a dry-erase component you can customize for whoever your friends are pulling for this week.
8. A bag of school spirit SweeTarts prime for Instagram in case your followers need convincing that you care about sports.
9. A set of dip clips so you can drown your boredom in your own personal portion of sauce and avoid that one gross friend who always double dips.
10. A fleece-lined hoodie for those days when it's nippy and may drizzle but you don't *need* a legit coat. (Also, you don't want to wear your nice coat to a game packed with rowdy fans and their beverages.)
11. And a sturdy, packable poncho to get you through a miserable downpour while still showing off any team gear you actually wore.
12. An approps T-shirt in case you get dragged to the game watch by a SO.
13. A copy of The Waterboy for brushing up on your "My mama says" jokes and being less ornery than alligators who've got all them teeth but no toothbrush.
14. A DVD set of Friday Night Lights as a means to appreciate all the hard work and dedication that goes into the sport. Or just to slobber all over Tim Riggins. Maybe both!
15. An arsenal of air-activated hand warmers you can stick in your gloves or pocket so you can focus on the game instead of whether or not you're going to lose a finger.
16. A portable propane grill for easier tailgating so you won't have to spend a small fortune on food inside the stadium.
17. A serving tray with inserts specific to your team so you can act like pretzels are running for a touchdown while everyone else is watching the human players on TV.
18. A pair of full-step orthopedic shoe insoles to make tailgating and standing up in the bleachers to yell at refs more bearable on your old dogs.
19. And a simple football guide in case you want to finally *get* all the stuff you're being forced to watch. Maybe you'll even start to enjoy it?!
You before every football game with your newfound love (or at least like) for the sport:
