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    27 Things That May Finally Give You Some Privacy

    As my friend Aaron says, go worry about yourself.

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI β€” prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. Oversized sunnies that are, yes, about fashion. But they'll also signal that you'd rather not mingle with people while you're sitting on that park bench stress-seating a footlong sammie. We've all been there. I vacation there quite often!

    @eunicebeck / Eunice Beck

    Get them from Amazon for $12.99 (available in a variety of styles).

    2. A laptop privacy screen so everyone in your open office won't see that you're actually looking up cheap getaway flights when you really should be prepping for a presentation.

    Amazon

    The BuzzFeed offices are open space and some of my coworkers have these for a bit of privacy! Note that you'll still be able to see your screen when you look at it head on like normal, the obscuring powers come into play when someone looks at your screen from an angle (like a nosy cubicle mate).

    Promising review: "This fit just about perfectly on my HP Probook. It has held up well. It’s nice to have the privacy. Never realized how much it would hide, but now I feel comfortable working on it in public places. Just a little bit of an angle and you can’t see anything!" β€”Susie Sunshine

    Get it from Amazon for $29.99 (available in 15.6 inches 16:10 or 16:9).

    3. A blunt doormat as a preview for anyone who won't take a hint.

    Amazon

    You'd ask Hagrid to borrow Fluffy to deter visitors, but it can get tricky transporting him back and forth from Hogwarts.

    Promising review: "Bought this right before a local election and it worked! Instead of people knocking on my door I'd find political literature on my door handle saying 'Sorry we missed you.' And they didn't even knock! But last Sunday it did not turn away the lizard that got into my apartment. Took me 30 minutes to catch that sucker." β€”Adam

    Get it from Amazon for $19.95.

    4. A hooded travel pillow for achieving the ultimate in comfort and your *obvious* desire to be left alone.

    Amazon

    Machine-washable with removable memory-foam insert.

    Promising review: "Just traveled to FL from New England and LOVED this! I saw it on Shark Tank and knew I wanted to try it. It was perfect to block out the light the stranger next to me kept on the entire flight and feels like an extra soft sweatshirt." β€”Jax

    Get it from Amazon for $29.95 (available in five colors).

    5. And an eight-pack of cute eye masks that are still awkward enough to deter people from interrupting your (real or faux) slumber.

    Amazon

    Get them from Amazon for $13.99.

    6. A book on the history of cannibalism in case anyone on public transit or in the coffee shop is feeling extra friendly when you're not. And if someone DOES try to start a convo, you can tell 'em how this book taught you that until the end of the eighteenth century, British royalty ate human body parts!

    Amazon

    OK, so maybe the coolest kind of people will approach you when reading this book because they think it sounds interesting! And I get it, my coworker Mallory Mower has read and loved it. And we're basically just working our way through all the spooky, creepy books that exist.

    Get it from Amazon for $9.15+.

    7. A weatherproof driveway sensor that dings when it detects motion...so you're not caught off guard when someone selling stuff you don't want comes to the door.

    Amazon

    Detects motion in up to four different zones and up to four sensors per zone, and up to 40 feet away. Receiver includes a 12-volt relay to add wired external alarms, chimes, or bells. Easy to install, runs on four AA batteries for up to one year.

    Promising review: "Purchased as a gift for a family member and it was a huge success! Works amazingly well and we are all happy. It is installed on a long, winding driveway, which is very secluded. In my opinion, everyone should have one of these! We want one for ourselves, too!" β€”Deb M.

    Get it from Amazon for $99.99.

    8. A set of faux security cameras β€” they may help scare away any prowlers.

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Promising review: "Looks real, has been an extremely effective deterrent. Sketchy things were happening all the time before putting these up. Plus now as a side benefit the mail and FedEx carriers are putting things nice and neat in front of my door instead of tossing my packages in the driveway." β€”Blake

    Get a four-pack from Amazon for $24.99.

    9. A stylish floppy hat you can use to shield your judging eyes or just keep the sun out of your peepers when you're living your best life in wine country. Cheers to a multi-use product!

    amazon.com

    Get it from Amazon for $18.99 (available in 10 colors).

    Also check out a beach hat with a huge brim for some seasonal privacy.

    10. Or a sun hat you must wear outdoors in public because you're not messing out with the elements and mosquitos. But uh, also it's very intimidating and will prevent some strangers from messing with ya', probably.

    Amazon

    Get it from Amazon for $12.95+ (available in four colors).

    11. A Schitt's Creek DON'T tee in case you'd just like to give off that general vibe spelled out in plain text. And want to let other folks know you're a fan but DON'T wanna talk about it, or anything really.

    IF Merch

    My friend Alyse gave me this shirt and it is THE BEST.

    Get it from IF Merch for $30 (available in unisex sizes S–3XL).

    12. And a more polite tee with a similar message in case you still kinda feel bad about your desire to interact with no one rn β€” though you should absolutely not feel bad about that! THAT is your right!!!!!

    Ella & Brooks Co / Etsy

    Get it from Ella & Brooks Co on Etsy for $20.40+ (available in six colors and unisex sizes S–4XL).

    13. A sliding do-not-disturb sign that's going to look so good on your cubicle entrance or office door. TAKE A HINT, ROBERT.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "Love it. I have a cordial sense of humor at work. I have a cube and office etiquette is to knock on the cube wall. So I cut up an old sport schedule magnet, glued it to the back of this and then slapped it on the metal cabinet above my cube. Now, the 'do not disturb' part I would use only conservatively if at all. It's sanitized office fun and the coworkers get that." β€”bb

    Get it from Amazon for $14.90.

    14. Blackout curtains that are perfect for snoozing or basically throwing a rave and not letting any nosey neighbors know β€” at least when it comes to visual cues.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I bought these as a privacy curtain for my bunk and they are the perfect size. They block out light really well. We have the lights on 24/7 where I sleep and theses are amazing! Not to mention great quality for the price!" β€”Catherine Carmichael-Davis

    Read our full review of these blackout curtains here.

    Get them from Amazon for $21.99+ (available in three lengths, 27 colors).

    15. A roll of pretty window film to obscure any lookie-loos' peeks into your home while stilling letting in natural light.

    Amazon, amazon.com

    Promising review: "Purchased for my bathroom windows, which face an alley. I could not be happier with the result! Installation was very easy with the following tip: The backing is extremely hard to peel off. Take some packing tape, press it onto a corner on the side with the backing. Then you can peel it off really easily because the backing sticks to the tape! We just used a credit card to squeeze out the bubbles. As you can see, it's just as pretty with colors as in the Amazon listing pictures. It also throws beautiful rainbows on the wall. I plan to purchase more for several more windows." β€”Jennifer

    Get it from Amazon for $13.98+ (available in seven roll sizes).

    16. A pair of noise-cancelling headphones so you can drown out the world and lose yourself in some sweet tunes, a game, podcast, or just utter silence.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "Excellent sound quality. Have used them paired to my iPhone 6s for privacy while working and to a bluetooth transmitter on my TV so I can crank up the volume without disturbing my wife. Not something I'd want to go jogging with but I don't jog, so that's not an issue." β€”M. MCINTOSH

    Get them from Amazon for $34.99+ (available in eight color combos).

    17. And a huge pack of noise-cancelling ear plugs fit to be worn during especially noisy activities, like shooting at the range, working with power tools, moshing in the pit at a show, or just trying to get some sleep next to your snoring bae.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I ordered these ear plugs to block out snoring. After several years sleeping next to a herd of chainsaws, I finally found some plugs that work!! I love the softness of these earplugs. That's a HUGE plus. Other plugs I have tried were hard or too soft and either way they would fall out. Hearos are my heroes! Lol.. The Husband reported he also did not get elbowed in his side so that's a win-win!" β€”Kittentraxx

    Get 100 pairs from Amazon for $26.99.

    18. A roll of faux vines to make it harder for pesky neighbors to get all up in your business.

    Amazon, amazon.com

    Promising review: "These worked wonderfully to give some privacy to my backyard. I live in an attached town home, and have a 'creepy' neighbor. These gave me a little privacy without blocking out everything. I wove in some additional ivy strands to give some variety. I have had them up for about a year now, and they hold up well to weather conditions (snow, rain, freeze, heat). Color has lasted so far. No issues with hanging them. I used green zip ties purchased separately. Easy to cut and adjust the size." β€”Kimi Cee

    Get a 94"x59" roll from Amazon for $42.99.

    19. Or a bamboo privacy panel so you can start from the ground up without letting the neighbors see every little weird thing you do ON YOUR OWN PROPERTY.

    amazon.com

    Promising review: "I share a balcony with a new neighbor whom I have never met and is probably lovely but I'm not taking any chances because Dateline. My husband (Bless him) put it up and from his drenched in sweat from head to toe, I'm taking a shot and guessing that easy to install,' falls anywhere from 1-4 stars. The fence is solidly build, a nice light color and does the trick of creating the illusion of safety! Happy privacy everyone!" β€”Kindle Customer

    Get a roll from Amazon for $56.13+ (available in six sizes).

    20. A collapsible tent for changing in public without getting arrested!

    Amazon, amazon.com

    Promising review: "Purchased this to be used at running events for myself and my running buddy. We had been just suffering the ride home in our sweaty, smelly clothes...until I found this. Used it today for the first time at a half marathon. Was awesome to have. We were parked in a parking garage and just set it up in the empty spot next to us. I was concerned about having to fold it up but it folds up with no problem in seconds. Easy peasy!" β€”arieswitch

    Get it from Amazon for $35.99+ (available in two colors).

    21. A giant umbrella, lest you have to feign an interest in Janet's story at the kids' soccer game.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "This thing is awesome!! Lots of people at the beach asked us where we got it. This umbrella provides a certain level of privacy, which is kind of nice when a beach gets crowded and noisy. My 8-year-old niece asked me to buy her one for Christmas. I'll get her one before we go to the beach again." β€”He Was My Boyfriend!

    Get it from Amazon for $59.99 (also available in red).

    22. A portable door lock you can use at the office in case your coworkers storm in unannounced, and you can take on vacation to make sure no jokers are letting themselves into your hotel room.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "I work in a office at work where our doors open inwards towards me at my desk, I'm a developer and we often have Nerf battles in the hallways. On occasion my coworkers get a little to worked up and open my door to shoot me when I'm not really in the mood. Sometimes it got to be more than just on occasion. I got this lock to prevent them from coming inside. It works like a charm. They tried picking it. They tried sliding credit cards in the door. They tried everything they could think of, they couldn't get in. I was sitting at my desk laughing out loud at them. It was perfect, great product, exactly as described." β€”Glenn

    Get it from Amazon for $17.90.

    23. A set of loud-and-proud trespassing signs because you want folks to take a hint before they resort to actual human interaction.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "Already put two of these signs up on my fence! They'll keep the dummies from knocking on the fence or opening up the gate before thinking twice. (As long as they can read.) I used nails, because I couldn't get my stapler to work, but next time I'll staple them. They are not very thick, so I think staples will be more secure against the wind. Time will tell." β€”Marta Von Runge

    Get a four-pack from Amazon for $6.49.

    24. Or perhaps a more ~subtle~ sign that'll catch the attention of anyone snooping.

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Promising review: "I am very, very pleased with this sign. I love not having to buy a pole. Also, this sign can be made two sided. When I saw how smooth it was on the back, I bought lettering and put Keep Out on the back. I was originally thinking I was going to have to buy two signs and put them back to back. I bought one, to look at it first, and it was perfect for lettering on the back." β€”Susanna

    Get it from Amazon for $19.95+ (available in non-reflective and reflective).

    25. A googly eyed windshield shade that'll make your coworkers feel a lil' awkward about looking to see if you're eating lunch in you car again to avoid the break room.

    Amazon, amazon.com

    Promising review: "Funny to leave in the car. If you don't like the eyes you can reverse it. It fits in my 2006 Acura TSX. I just hold it up with the visors. I like that it folds flat and snaps compared to having to roll the one for my other car. There are also straps and rings but I have not needed them." β€”Dan Durig

    Get it from Amazon for $24.88 (available in five designs).

    26. A soothing noise machine so it sounds like you're snoozing by a babbling creek in the woods instead of in the middle of a noisy city.

    Amazon

    It has six natural sounds (rain, brook, ocean, thunder, white noise, and summer night), can be set for 15, 30 or 60 minutes, and runs via an AC adaptor (included) or 3 AA batteries.

    Promising review: "I love the simplicity, functionality, and design of this sound machine. I bought two, one for my office for privacy and another one for my 7-year-old to help him focus on his homework and fall asleep. It's easy to operate even for a child, including setting up the timer that gives you only three options. Having six sounds options provides for enough variety, yet is not too distracting or overwhelming in terms of decision-making." β€”AW

    Get it from Amazon for $14.99.

    27. And in case you wanna go full Boo Radley, a roll of legit caution tape you can put up now "for Halloween" and just leave up forever.

    Amazon

    Get a 300-foot roll from Amazon for $7.20.

    You to everyone. (And don't apologize for it!)

    Hulu

    Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.

    Looking for more great Amazon finds? Check out some of our favorite cheap things to buy on Amazon, some of the weirdest things on Amazon you might actually want, or read through all the rest of our incredible Amazon product recommendations.

    Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides!

    Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed

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