1. A bottle of non-GMO, organic Sriracha from Jet's new line Uniquely J that you can use to douse all your noms for a satisfyingly fiery burn.
2. An inflatable buffet cooler for your next football watch that'll get even the most lukewarm of sports fans pumped.
3. A charming lil' dog bed so your pupper will stop hogging all the couch space while you watch your stories together.
4. A froggy pencil case to wrangle all your writing utensils in a charmingly kooky organizer.
5. A Buffy adult coloring book that's probably going to require a few more red coloring utensils than your average coloring books.
6. A four-pack of BOOMCHICKAPOP for a 100% whole grain, organic, AND gluten-free addition to your tired snacking routine!
7. A L'Occitane shampoo and conditioner duo to help nourish and repair your locks with a combo of essential oils angelica, lavender, geranium, ylang-ylang, and patchouli.
8. An interactive rocking horse you're going to have to pry your kid off of for bedtime every night.
9. A stacking storage unit that'll look like you bought it from some local up-and-coming furniture designer.
10. A Jonathan Adler match strike to bring some serious edge to your candle stash. Or other kinds of stashes. You do you!
11. A notepad for spelling out all the ways you ~plan~ to eat your veggies this week.
12. A gorgeous box as an expensive-looking gift or decorative accent to up your Insta ante.
13. A double-sided magnetic easel — it just may keep your kid so busy and quiet, you're going to get worried.
14. A can of Amy's organic split-pea soup you'll swear is homemade.
15. A self-aware hypochondriac manual to flip through instead of going into a WebMD spiral of doom.
16. A pre-shampoo clay mask that'll show your oily roots who's boss. (That'd be you. You're the boss.)
17. A mid-century style credenza to house all the essential-but-ugly crap in your living room like extra batteries and light bulbs.
18. A bag of fair-trade, organic Colombian coffee you won't mind leaving out on the kitchen counter.
19. A 500-piece Titanic building block set for something to occupy your kids' time 'til they're old enough (in approximately 50 years) to see someone being drawn like a French girl.
20. A set of three faux topiaries that are going to make your place look *so* fancy. Disembodied voice: "How fancy?" Visitors are definitely going to use your drink coasters.
21. A three-piece Chi travel set so you won't have to settle for the hotel room blow dryer or check a bag to make room for your hair arsenal.
22. A mosaic stepping stone kit as a fun weekend project that'll add a personal touch to your garden.
23. A Wonder Woman fleece robe because you'll need something to lounge in while recuperating from saving the world.
24. An amazing collection of short stories by award-winning author Roxane Gay that you're going to insist everyone you know read. Of course, after you've devoured it.
25. A Minions KerPlunk game to test your kids' patience instead of them testing your patience. Or just maybe you're an adult who likes Minions?
26. An automatic bread maker with a gluten-free setting so you can eat your favorite carb without feeling like your body is trying to kill you.
27. A cult-status BeautyBlender sponge for achieving a photo filter effect with every single foundation application.
28. An adjustable baby activity center that'll keep your tot happy and will be easy to clean with a removable seat pad and toys.
29. A Krups four-slice toaster sure to seriously speed up your family's morning routine.
30. A pretty metal headboard set as an elegant touch that'll make it look like you hired an interior designer.
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.