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    Just 32 Sex Toys And Congratulations, Now You Have Weeknight Plans For The Foreseeable Future

    Sorry I RSVP'd no to your video happy hour. I'm just not feeling that ~vibe~ tonight.

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. A clit-sucking toy thanks to air (yay technology!) you'll wanna shout about to the high heavens. 'Tis time to let someone else pull the weight after your colleague went MIA on that project but wanted to talk themselves up in the presentation.

    the vibrator with illustrated waves around it to illustrate the vibrations

    According to one friend who bought it from a BuzzFeed Shopping story, it works almost *too* well. Has 11 intensities and is 100% waterproof.

    Promising review: "I vote to rename this product 'Orgasmatron 5000.' Not kidding. I was pretty hesitant to spend that much on a toy, but it is absolutely worth every penny. When the instructions say 'it's even better in the bath,' they aren't kidding, and the settings go from what I would call 'gentle murmur' up to 'HOLY #$@%!!' Don't forget to try it on your nipples as well. If you possess a clit, you NEED this toy. Do it." —Amelia

    Get it from Amazon for $37.95. You can also grab some tip replacements here.

    2. A ~love~ wall art kit so guests can marvel over the fruits of you and bae's intimacy like a Rorschach test. When you mom asks what you did with your Wednesday evening, you can tell her you've taken up painting.,

    Includes non-allergenic canvas, nontoxic washable paint, and disposable slippers.

    Promising review: "Absolutely loved it! A few tips: warm the paint first. We didn't and it was freezing! Work quickly because it dries fast. Start foreplay before putting any paint down. Make sure you have shower bathtub cleaner bc I had to scrub the shower the next day from all the black residue leftover. Paint didn't stain our skin, except created in our hands and under our fingernails. Overall, were extremely happy and will purchase again!!" —Amazon Customer

    Get it from Amazon for $51.77.

    3. A two-fer toy that'll give ya G-spot and clitoral vibes because you deserve both! Also it's super quite, if that's a thing that matters....

    model holding the toy in bed

    Made of silky-soft silicone, has 12 vibration settings, a flexible external stimulator, 100% waterproof, and charges by USB.

    Promising review: "From a girl that’s hard to please, whose O face is more elusive than Bigfoot, this vibrator is a game changer. Blessings on your house LELO, for real." —LadyB

    Get it from Lelo for $186.15 (available in three colors).

    4. A ~versatile~ toy with 100 vibration patterns you can use in all sorts of creative ways solo or with others. Feeling bored? I think you'll figure out something worthwhile ;).

    U-shaped toy with diagrams about how you can use it on your body

    Has 3 engines, 100 vibration combinations, 14 uses, and is 100% waterproof.

    Promising review: "My girlfriend loves the satisfier. She screams all the way around the house when she’s using it, the bed, almost broken. She goes nuts. Buy it." —Alberto M.

    Get it from Amazon for $47.89 (available in three colors).

    5. A cult-status Hitachi wand with a long handle meant for external stimulation and powerful tennis ball-size head for anyone who need some seriously strong vibes.

    the wand with cord visible
    Adam & Eve

    If you have issues with reaching, the long handle on this will be like an incredibly helpful extension of your arm. Plus that 6-foot cord will help help you get creative in your space (or just get around a poorly placed wall outlet).

    Promising review: "I bought this vibe with high hopes and it definitely lives up to my expectations. I have only used the low setting cause it gives off just the right amount of vibes that my body likes. This is a great toy for women who have a hard time getting off. You will not be disappointed." —Anonymous

    Get it from Adam & Eve for $79.95.

    If you'd rather not deal with a cord, there's also a cordless version.

    6. A wearable vibrator that's Bluetooth-enabled in case you wanna let someone else take the reins from the other side of the globe. There's nothing like not having to think about how to get off after a particularly brutal Tuesday.

    two phones with an app view on them, a smart watch, C-shaped vibrator
    Lovelife by OhMiBod

    You can use it with the free OhMiBod remote app to let someone else to control it. But! You can also connect it to a Kiiroo product with the FeelConnect app in case ya wanna sync up. However you can use it without your phone with its four manual mode settings.

    Get it from Lovelife by OhMiBod for $119.

    7. A flexible silicone vibrator that'll easily bend to the whims your vibes of yore would never. Plus it's waterproof!,

    Has nine vibration patterns, a magnetic USB charger.

    Promising review: "I purchased this vibrator on a 'impulse buy' and man am I happy that I did. I am a gay man and usually don’t purchase these types of tools but when I read the reviews and saw the functionality and the magnetic charging option I decided to give it a go. The price is fantastic, I could see myself paying $60–80 for this in an adult toy store. This thing has so many different vibrational options and I was shocked to see that the whole vibrator vibrated and not just the tip or the base. If you’re looking for a toy that can be concealed easily this is your guy." —Brayden Conover

    Get it from Amazon for $21.99.

    8. A suuuuuper powerful personal massager – it charges via USB so you can get it ready while you're wrapping up that *one* last email. Now that's some multi-tasking I can get behind.

    hand holding the white minimalist vibrator

    It's made of super soft silicone, has three speeds, and a runtime of up to 2.5 hours. It’s water-resistant, phthalate- and latex-free. So um, what can't it do?

    Promising review: "Super soft touch, fits in my small hand perfectly, the neutral color is not attention grabbing in case someone walks in and I forget to put it away, and much stronger vibration than my previous toy at the same price point. I'm happier with this than I could have imagined. The thrill it gives with such ease reminds me of being a teenager again." —Burnsie

    Get it from Maude for $45.

    9. Some bondage tape that'll not only be fun for its obvious intent, but will also safely keeping toys in place where you need them without leaving a mark.

    roll of red glossy tape

    Promising review: "Perfect product for simple hand and ankle tying and for any extreme bondage positions. It's also nice and soft on your skin so good for blindfolding or making a kinky outfit. It's easy to tear off the roll and very strong when twisted so won't snap without strong force. Brilliant for making everything stay where you want it." —BigDickRik

    Get it from Lovehoney for $8.99 (also available in black or purple).

    10. A pelvic harness and a compatible dildo for anyone who has some difficulty with penetrative sex on their own. This one is designed with room for a penis (and a vibrator!).


    FYI, lots of able-bodied reviewers also use it for double penetration.

    Promising review (for the harness): "Great harness!! Fits like a glove. This harness holds the dildo in place no matter how rough the ride. My first experience was an hour ride. The harness performed well. It was comfortable no movement or pinching. Material is quality. Little pricey but you get what you pay for." —Don B

    Get them from Amazon: harness for $134.95 (available in three sizes) and dildo for $129 (available in three colors)

    11. A silicone plunge paddle that takes a lot less force to manipulate than a wood paddle. But! The ease of use doesn't mean that it's only suited for beginners. Reviewers say it packs quite the punch.

    the paddle with rectangular end

    Promising review: "The natural flex of this paddle is great, it kind of acts like a spring. With a small effort in the wrist it delivers a commanding slap. It's effortless and great for long periods of use. Basically, it doesn't sag/slouch much but when you begin to move it, it will flex quite a bit. I was worried this would be too sloppy, but I was wrong. It works great. My partner was satisfied as well. I was easily able to control how hard it hits and how much pain it delivers. This is important if you are still exploring pain thresholds with your sub. I never felt like it would accidentally deliver more than intended." —Amazon Customer

    Get it from Amazon for $35.99+ (available in four sizes).

    12. An oral sex stimulator passersby may mistake as some kind of fancy smart home remote...which is especially great to know in case you accidentally leave it in the frame of where you take your work meetings.

    the circular shaped toy

    It has 10 pleasure settings, waterproof, and fully rechargeable.

    Promising review: "I love this toy. It doesn't look like a toy. You can lay it out and because of the shape of it, no one knows what exactly it is unless they have one. Every time I use it I have a fantastic orgasm. I used to think my toy like a 'rabbit' also from Lelo was the greatest. Now this has taken its place." —Wendy

    Get it from Lelo for $155.45 (available in three colors).

    13. A hands-free lube dispenser that'll also warm it to the perfect temp so you can easily get busy even faster!

    bedside table with sleek white C-shaped lube dispenser that doesn't obviously look like a sex toy
    Love My Pulse

    Promising review: "Lube always felt like such a hassle before (the bottle, the spills, the mess), but with the Pulse, I am SO much more excited to add it to my intimate moments. It's a very discreet machine and looks nice on my nightstand." —Trystan Sill

    Get it from Pulse for $199 (and check out their collection of lubricants).

    14. A small flashy butt plug perfect for beginners — or just slideeee right in for those with butt play experience.

    silver tone small butt plug with a pink jewel accent on it

    Promising review: "This is NOT meant for anyone who has any tolerance or experience when it comes to anal penetration at all. I had one of the tiny packets of free lube they give out in the gayborhood, but as a gay man I needed no lube for this. I just stuffed it in without effort or preparation. You can barely feel it inside you (it feels like you mildly need to go number 2, not to be gross), but I am guessing for someone who has never put anything up there that this would be very exciting. It's nice to have while orgasming, as you can feel it a little then. The jewel is adorable, and the color is great — I got the cobalt blue and it's even more striking than the picture. Considering this cost me $6, I love it, especially since I can wear it all the time, and *I* know it's there, which is exciting in itself. I am going to buy the large size for sure." —Mitch Please

    Get it from Amazon for $5.99 (available in 13 colors).

    15. A water-based lube to make thrusting, slipping in, and all the other action verbs you get up to a bit smoother.

    hand holding the bottle of lube

    Promising review: "I strongly recommend this product. The second I drizzled it onto my shaft I could feel that the quality was better than lubes I have purchased in the past. My boyfriend and I also noticed that I did not have to pull out of his anus mid-thrust to add lube as often as in the past, making our love-making even more passionate then usual. Thank you #LubeLife! You've created two very happy gays!" —D

    Get it from Amazon for $7.99+ (available in four flavors, four sizes).

    16. Or a silicone-based lube that won't feel sticky as it lasts nearly as long as you. (Or longer? Whatever, just have fun!)

    the bottle of lube

    Promising review: "This lube is great, My boyfriend and I had gay sex with it like a million times and went through 16 ounces of it in like three weeks. It lubricated everything and there was penetration like you wouldn't believe! You should get it." —D. M

    Get it from Amazon for $11.16+ (available in nine sizes).

    17. A soft but firm dildo with a suction cup to keep it steady on surfaces while you go to work on it.,

    Promising review: "The suction cup on this thing does not play. I bought it for my husband (gay couple). First thing he did was take it to the wall and it hung there for quite some time. It doesn’t smell super chemically, and that’s really nice. If feels very durable, and it’s really soft to the touch. It’s firm enough to hold his posture when penetrating, it’s an overall fun toy." —crobinson

    Get it from Amazon for $13.69 (available in three colors).

    18. And a glow-in-the-dark dildo for another element of fun.

    Ella Paradis

    Get it from Ella Paradis for $54 (available in two colors).

    19. A rabbit vibe as a classic shape that won't disappoint, unlike your (virtual) drinks date that bailed on you.

    wet rabbit style vibrator
    Bellesa Boutique

    Has three thrusting modes.

    Promising review: "The vibrations on this was so amazing and the thrusting function is amazing. I love that it had multiple settings on it for speed. It’s also not that loud too which is wonderful. I will be buying from boutique for the rest of my life." —Bellesa Boutique Customer

    Get it form Bellesa Boutique for $159.

    20. A UFO-shaped vibrator for an otherworldly night you may need to take a personal day for after because it'll keep up with lots o' fun.

    Hand holding UFO-shape vibrator

    Promising review: "The sauce is just the perfect toy. I love like the sense of detail which really makes it look like a UFO. It is easy handling and leaves much space for creativity in positions. The vibration can be varied and won’t disappoint you." —Unbound Customer

    Get it from Unbound for $69.

    21. A four-piece butt plug training set in graduated sizes so you can work your way up to the top (or in this case, bottom).

    product shot of four purple anal plugs, douche, and lube

    The set also includes a douche and tube of lubricant.

    Promising review: "I was shocked with this. I am a gay man who decided I would try and get into bottoming, and I got a dildo and it was just meh. But these were great. I was nice and shocked. Just having them in was nice and felt good." —Damion Q.

    Get them from Amazon for $15.99+ (available in purple or black).

    22. A strapless strap-on dildo vibrator that has a posable pony to really get in there as needed. Psst, it's waterproof.

    the L-shaped vibrator with a flexible end in motion

    Has 8 patterns of vibration and 12 speeds, full waterproof, comes with a lockable storage case.

    Promising review: "This toy has literally become part of mine and my girlfriend’s relationship. The vibrator is such a good way for 'bottoms' to try 'topping' out, without the hassle and sometimes embarrassment of a traditional strap-on. The individual vibrations patterns and speeds really do make this product fit for any couple. This toy is very easy to clean and charges up very quick, and lasts forever! I cannot recommend a product more than this!" —MissNC, a Bisexual Going Steady Female

    Get it from Lovehoney for $99.99.

    23. A luxurious stainless-steel dildo to help out in temperature play and reaching G-spots, P-spots, and all sorts of other pleasurable places.

    model holding a curved stainless steel dildo with two different size heads

    Promising review: "I am in love with this dildo. What should I say. Amazing curves, spheres and stainless steel makes it a great toy for anal play. I really enjoy the prostate stimulation with my stainless-steel dildo. It's one of the best toy to have for prostate massage. It's a toy worth having!" —Jasperjade19, a Gay Going Steady Male

    Get it from Lovehoney for $149.99.

    24. A waterproof remote butterfly vibrator for clitoral stimulation you can easily strap on and then control with the provided remote for ~waves~ of hands-free pleasure. And it has a heating function!


    The heating function can provide 40-degree C constant temperature (which is pretty close to body heat). It has 10 vibe modes and the remote control works from up to about 32 feet away. Um, that's a pretty long way!

    Promising review: "Crazy fun stimulation. Remote control helps with self-stim or partner control — fast, slow, whatever you like. Easy to find with the bright pink color. Battery life lasts and lasts. Wash dry and put away for next time. Can also go with you wherever you want to pack it into." —Audre Hartman

    Get it from Amazon for $22.99 (also available in pink).

    25. Or a similar remote-control massager with a penis ring and 10 vibration speeds can offer up similar waves of pleasure the same price. Oh, and it's waterproof!


    Promising review: "This really hit the spot, if you know what I mean. :P All jokes aside, I really love it despite a couple of minor drawbacks. Here is a list of the good and the bad, from a gay man’s perspective:

    The Good:

    • 10 different vibration settings that really do “hit” different. My personal favorite is the third, strongest of the consistent vibrations.

    • Not too large but it isn’t so small that it can’t stimulate me. My partner and I both top, so we have to take it easy whenever we put anything in there. This is just the right size for that.

    • The cock ring helps keep me engorged so that everything looks nice and attractive.

    • The remote works and is easy to figure out.

    The Bad

    • There are very small ridges on the part that you insert. They are so small that I wouldn’t have noticed them. As someone who doesn’t normally insert anything in that hole, however, I definitely noticed them when I was sliding it in. My best advice is to use a great lube and get it in there slowly.

    • While it does feel amazing, it is not long enough to reach my prostate. I can feel the vibrations in the area between my balls and my ass, and it feels excellent, but we both really wanted something for the prostate. Still, if you like having that area stimulated like I do, this is not such a bad thing." —Nathan Gravitt

    Get it from Amazon for $21.99.

    26. A G-Force silicone handle dildo with a curve that makes it easy to maneuver to reach a G-spot or P-spot during solo or partner play. Plus! It's made of nonporous silicone so it'll be easy to clean (you can even throw it in the dishwasher).

    long dildo with bulb at top and textured grip that makes it easy to hold onto

    Promising review: "Okay, all I will say is that the best feature is the long handle. Perfect for us short chicks with short arms.... ;)" —fruitcake

    Get it from Amazon for $44.99.

    27. A aerial yoga swing you can — like many reviewers before you — use as a sex swing for more stability and better positioning.


    Promising review: "I suppose you could use this for yoga too. But, what I typed into the Amazon search was definitely not a 'yoga' swing! However, my wife and I can attest that this works absolutely perfect for nonyoga activities. No problems with the product at all." —Binfordtools

    Get it from Amazon for $59.99+ (available in seven colors).

    28. A solo jacker with a window so you can see some of the action going on while you're going to town on yourself. It has two dual motors, works with a Bluetooth-enabled app, and may just fulfill all the things you thought would happen in the future.


    The app is available through both the Apple and Google Play store. Has internal curved groove inside, window panel, 10 sensors, up to a two-hour charge, and is 100% waterproof.

    Promising review: "This is all you need if you want a toy that drives you to the edge and beyond!" —Quarki3

    Get it from Lelo for $169.

    29. Or a vagina-like Fleshlight penis masturbator that's super lightweight because this is technically a travel version!

    the fleshlight with inner view of design inside the shaft

    Promising review: "I like collecting Fleshlights but have been pretty annoyed at how needlessly big they were. Fleshlight Go is the size all Fleshlights should have been, tighter, lighter and easy to store.

    This one feels great, a grade A Fleshlight. I hope they do more Go Fleshlights. I'm really looking forward to more themed Go Fleshlights like those Fleshlight freaks models. Hopefully we will get some around Halloween." —Joi

    Get it from Lovehoney for $59.99.

    But that's just the tip of the iceberg! There are lots more Fleshlights.

    30. A vibrating cock ring made for vaginal penetration or clitorial stimulation. But! Its design makes it easy to hold in case you'd like to use it to stimulate parts while it's not slipped onto a penis. Looping your finger in the ring part can be easier for some who have trouble grasping toys.

    purple cock ring with gold portion at top
    Bellesa Boutique

    Ya gotta love a multi-use product! Oh, and it's hands-free and fully submersible in water!

    Promising review: "Description says it all! Seriously, though... this lil' ring is the real deal. Halo is right, this cock ring is heaven sent. I love it, he loves it. Used to use the little dinky ones they sell at the drug store for $10, ha! This halo will rock your world." —Bellesa Boutique customer

    Get it from Bellesa Boutique for $69 (also available in black).

    31. A ~flexible~ double-ended dildo that's 22 inches long with realistic veins for some extra sensation, meaning it'll be a fave for solo dual plugging or with a friend.

    person holding a very long realistic looking dildo in their hand with a smaller end and a larger end

    Promising review: "On arrival, I almost fainted at the size of the box! On first use I was skeptical at the idea of it needing to be so big, but I was wrong, very wrong. The different-sized ends are a great bonus, and my partner literally can’t get enough of using this toy! Don’t be shy and just go for it. If it makes your mind wonder, try it." —Itsallarealfeeling

    Get it from Lovehoney for $49.99.

    FYI, if you wanna start out with a shorter or different design, check out more double-ended dildos on Lovehoney. They have quite the selection!

    32. And some super thin vegan condoms so you can feel all the (nether-region) feels while playing with others.

    hand holding a zucchini with a condom on it
    @psgoodtimes / Via

    Get a 12-pack from P.S. Condoms for $19 (or $16.15 with Subscribe & Save) and try out a free trial here (just pay shipping!)

    Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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