1. A trio of ornaments including Dracula, a werewolf, and Frankenstein just begging for front-and-center positioning on their black Christmas tree.
I, a total weirdo, just got these for my own black Christmas tree! Check out my TikTok featuring them.
Promising review: "The colors, the shine, the detail, the size (not super small)...perfect!! I want more!!" —Linda
Get them from Amazon for $25.57.
2. Or a Krampus Christmas ornament complete with a basket full of naughty kids. Who needs Elf of the Shelf when you can hang this at eye level on the tree? Gotta love an excuse to watch the holiday film by the same name.
Promising review: "When I realized that my kids were getting a little too entitled when it came to gift expectations, I knew some old school motivation would help. Adding Krampus to our tree decorations serves as a constant, watchful reminder that the holidays are not a 'win-win' for kids — there's an expectation and requirement to be humble and kind in exchange for the rewards they expect...and violent, rage-filled punishment in a copper pot or burlap sack if they don't meet those requirements.
Sounds like a healthy addition to any child's formative years to me, and I'm happy with my purchase!" —Bradums
3. A carbonated bubble clay mask for a funny effect that'll also help 'em clear out their pores. Maybe buy some for yourself too and schedule a Facetime?
Promising review: "Wow! I purchased this on a whim after seeing one of my favorite YouTubers try it out. I didn't expect a lot from it. I tried it out and was shocked!!! The mask was simple (and fun) to use. I wasn't sure I felt a lot happening while it was on, but it was pretty cool how the bubbles started to grow off of my face. Upon inspection after using this mask I was completely amazed. My face felt cleaner than it has in a very long time AND my pores looked amazing! I don't remember a time when I felt like my pores looked great before using this mask. I would highly recommend this mask to anyone. It's also so much cheaper than the GlamGlow ones I have been using (and didn't see near these results from)." —K. Textor
Get it from Amazon for $9.88.
4. A worst-case scenario cookbook for the person who has a bug-out bag and has been taking notes from all those soap-operatic seasons of The Walking Dead.
Promising review: "Bought this as a gift for a coworker who is obsessed with weird disasters (she's eagerly awaiting a real Sharknado) and she loves it. The tips are easy to read... her 6-year-old can understand them. Recipes she has tried are also good." —Tabi
Get it from Amazon for $19.95.
I also rec Max Brooks's classic, The Zombie Survival Guide!
5. And some SKIN1004 Zombie Pack Face Masks will make them (briefly) look like their fave kind of horror movie monster while it goes to work tightening pores and minimizing the appearance of wrinkles.
Promising review: "This really works. I am always skeptical of products I buy online because you can't be sure who is posting reviews but I will say that this mask does what it says it will do. I will definitely purchase again." —JEaston
Get a box of eight masks from Amazon for $24.
6. A screaming goat that'll make them say "it me" when it shrieks on their behalf.
Promising review: "I spend about 90% of my day silently screaming at the computer because, well, welcome to customer service. Since this little goat arrived, I no longer look like I am practicing for my appearance on Jerry Springer. I just push the little goat. He screams (but not in a disruptive way). I smile. I am no longer annoyed. I survived peak season because of this goat. I owe my sanity to you, screaming goat." —Gab&Amanda
Get it from Amazon for $8.56.
7. The Book of Unusual Knowledge in case they're always dropping the most obscure facts on you. Give 'em this and you won't have to listen to the same facts over and over!
Promising review: "My best friend is always telling me new facts about the most random things so when I saw this, I knew it had to be added to his bookshelf. And let me tell you the list of random facts keeps on coming. Yeah, yeah, I know... the internet... but sometimes it’s nice to disconnect from technology and read a real book. Couldn’t be happier with this purchase." —Gregory
Get it from Amazon for $11.98.
Shipping info: Ships via Amazon. Current delivery time is 4–5 days. See Amazon’s full shipping policy here.
8. A Star Wars Light Saber chopsticks set for the pal who's already accrued every single Baby Yoda thing.
Promising review: "I purchased these for a friend's birthday present (he is a sushi waiter) and these are flippin' AMAZING. I ordered two sets by mistake, but I am totally keeping the second pair for another gift (or for myself!). These are sure to be great conversation pieces and attention-getters. Way to go!" —T. Redwood
Get two pairs from Amazon for $14.97.
9. A photo pillow custom made with their fave meme that you apparently were the 483494745757th person to send to them on IG. As a horror girlie who salivates over 1) Skeet Ulrich in Scream and 2) Flamin' Hot Cheetos, I made this pillow on my own and it's my favorite thing in my apartment.
I indeed found this meme on IG and knew it had to be mine in one physical form or another. So I created a Shutterfly pillow with it! It sits on my couch and often freaks out people I'm video chatting with because it looks like he's always staring at you. It also makes me want some Flamin' Hot Cheetos!
Get it from Shutterfly for $22.99+ (available in various sizes and photo configurations).
Shipping info: Order by Dec. 15 for economy shipping in time for Christmas. Expedited shipping options are also available.
10. A coffee mug that transforms from solid black to utter perfection.
Promising review: "So glad I purchased this. I have a running gag with some friends that Nic Cage is a national treasure, and when I saw this I had to buy it! Takes maybe 5–10 seconds to completely warm up and reveal the picture, but that doesn’t bother me." —Molly
Get it from Amazon for $17.50.