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1. Magnetic grill lights that I'm sure even Hank Hill hasn't heard of!
2. A season of Aerial America for when he wants to take in gorgeous, narrated views without leaving the couch. (And perhaps discover Carhenge, like my dad did.)
3. A custom pet portrait to expand the family gallery wall now that your four-legged sibling is ruling the empty nest and getting the royal treatment.
4. A fill-in-the-blank book you can put down some of your favorite memories in and he can keep on hand for when he needs a pick-me-up or is just thinking of you.
5. Or a thoughtful letter set if you're more into the idea of individual letters he can open up at different intervals.
6. A splurge-worthy heated razor for a towel shave–like feel because though he deserves to get a super fancy one of those every single day, he doesn't have the room in his schedule!
7. A personalized fly fishing box to ~lure~ him into doing his favorite outdoor activity even more often. (If that's humanly possible.)
8. A ~tasteful~ apron because he taught you that hot melted cheese with a few things to dip into it makes a perfectly fine meal and you should honor that in every possible way.
9. And a stuffed burger press because of what I said up there ^ about the glory of melted cheese in meals.
10. A 12-person tent that'll provide plenty of shelter for the fam on all those camping trips you have planned.
11. A boater hat for the classic dresser who'd rather die than wear a snapback.
12. A Zodiac Killer Tarot card tee in case your text chain is riddled with spooky podcast and Netflix doc recs.
13. A heroic poster that'll remind him deep down that every hero and villain has something in common with Captain Underpants.
14. An Echo Show to make hands-free calling super easy for your catchup sessions — especially if you live at least a few hours away and would feel better having video calls to see how Dad's doing!
15. Or a Google Home Hub in case he's extremely against anything with a camera function (like my parents!) but loves the idea of listening to his playlists, pulling up recipes by speaking by his hands are a mess, or controlling all sorts of smart things around the house.
16. A brownie sampler because even the father figure who argues they don't need anything will get a thrill (that's cheap for you!) out of this.
17. A custom peg family for nestling in with family pics on his desk at work.
18. A pair of blackout sunnies for sleeping. Or looking cool. Both OK?
19. An album-centric book related to one of his faves, like Black Sabbath's Master of Reality or Neil Young's Harvest, to bring fresh perspective to some familiar tunes.
20. A pair of enamel pins for your hometown library's most loyal patron, especially since he discovered the branch's e-book offerings and has been speeding through them.
21. But if he's in need of a new e-reader, a waterproof Kindle could be just the thing for the main man who has gotten so sucked into a tome that he spilled a mug of coffee all over himself. Multiple times. It happens!
22. A fancy Roomba robot vacuum with Alexa connectivity you and your siblings can go all in on because he's obsessed with gadgets and could use another pet.
23. A pair of notched couch bowls, (yes, couch bowls), fit for a spoon and grip, lest he have to mop up spilled milk from the couch ONCE MORE.
24. A set of NES coasters so he can wax poetic about his OG standbys without compromising the coffee table finish.
25. A Nintendo NES Classic or Super NES Classic in case you'd like to wax poetic on something you're actually playing rn. Plus, these have the games built right in so there's no worries about keeping track of game cartridges!
26. A monthly LootCrate subscription to help satisfy his pop culture gear needs.
27. A decorative wooden duck decoy that'll make a cool accent anywhere.
28. A gallon of Flex Seal to play around with in areas that could use a flexible barrier, like an unfinished basement, backyard pond, or hand tools.
29. A handsome wallet made from a used MLB jersey that'll help him rep his team on the reg.
30. A fresh team T-shirt in a cool design he's allowed to wash, unlike that one special jersey.
31. A candle that smells like the open road he can light and get some inspo from while planning a road trip to the next national park on your bucket list.
32. A festive box of truffles he'll def need help eating, so you're being really generous.
33. A Thor hammer toolbox he most definitely CAN pick up and use. (Though I'm sure he does look like a pirate and an angel had a baby.)
34. A luxurious scented upgrade to Jo Malone or Maison Margiela everyone will appreciate.
35. A pack of pickle brine ice pops meant as an athletic supplement for helping rehydrate and prevent cramps. Though we've heard it'll also help with hangovers 😉.
36. A new set of wheels (three wheels, specifically) with plenty of basket room to tote around the essentials in his neighborhood.
37. A knife-making kit — including a 440c stainless-steel Shawnee Skinner blade crafted in Japan — so he can craft his own masterpiece because he can't get enough of Forged in Fire.
38. A photo frame that'll state the obvious while shining a light on that recent excellent pic of you two together.
39. A spice grinder he could probably use for grinding an assortment of wonderful things!
40. A tortilla swaddle for the dad who already has an Insta handle reserved for the next kid.
41. And a matching adult burrito blanket so he has as many chances to make the joke that he's a total snack... because he just learned that joke.
42. A tasty pool float in the form of a pizza slice or a tricked-out floating canopy as an Insta-worthy lounge spot this summer.
43. An approps coffee mug because those dad jokes won't make themselves!
44. And a coffee subscription that'll help him fill up his new coffee mug.
45. A bacon jerkygram designed for the Ron Swanson in your life with three game-changing jerky flavors.
46. A tricky puzzle you can work on while you discuss the details of your upcoming bucket-list trip to the Italian Riviera.
47. A travel toiletries kit that'll take the hard work out of second guessing if the hotel bar of soap is OK to use on his face. (It's not.)
48. And a travel shoe-cleaning kit to keep his kicks in tip-top shape on the road, too.
49. A scrumptious neck pillow that'll help you track him down in the airport STAT. Also if he loses it, he'll easily find it.
50. A coffee mug for the dad whose stare could scare anyone out of not separating paper from plastic.
Now brace yourself for the jealousy of your underperforming (at least when it comes to gift-giving) sibling:
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