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1. A bat-like wine opener with wings that'll dramatically raise up before you hear the satisfying pop of the cork. I'm pretty sure this is what Dracula uses for his guests.
2. A spiky water bottle to remind you to stay hydrated and others to keep their paws off your stuff. More wellness gear that reminds me of Bowser, plz.
Promising review: "I totally bought this to look cool, but I discovered I actually love the taste of water out of glass. It is the perfect size for traveling with and the cover keeps me from dropping it. The small opening makes it easy to sip from, even while walking around or driving. I love it!" —SullyGirl
Get it from Amazon for $42.
3. An eerie table lamp that'll turn on with a hesitant tap to reveal a spooky forest scene.
Promising review: "I bought this as a bedside lamp. I love love love this lamp. It is the perfect size to use next to your bed. It is like bringing nature inside your room. Turn it on with other lights out and you see shadows on your walls. It’s just beautiful. Exactly what I was looking for." —C
Get it from Amazon for $28.99.
4. A rather terrifying zombie face mask sure to make your skin as soft and supple as a nice, juicy brain thanks to its pore-tightening, skin-lifting power.
Promising review: "Smells great! This face mask does exactly what it says. My skin is nice and lifted, hydrated, noticeable reduction in fine lines, improved texture, reduced my pore size, and eliminated some newly developed rough patches forming around the hairline. Couldn't be more satisfied with this product! I have pretty good skin for 37, but this mask has really helped take my skin to the next level." —Samantha
Get a box of eight masks from Amazon for $27.50.
5. A pair of chic satin pillowcases you can lay your lil' head on before you clock into your nightmares because you read just one more chapter of that thriller before you went to sleep.
I have the dark gray version of these pillowcases and am obsessed with them. I wake up with smoother hair and more moisturized-feeling hair. Plus I don't have a bunch of weird lines on my face from sleeping on folded fabric like when I sleep on cotton pillowcases.
Promising review: "I frequently dye my hair crazy colors and got tired of stained pillow cases. These black satin cases are perfect. They're soft and comfortable to sleep on. They don't give me bedhead the way cotton pillow cases do, and the black color doesn't show hair dye. My only minor complaint is that my Casper pillow twists around in the case because I'm an active sleeper. My memory foam pillow does not." —Allison
Get them from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in 23 colors and four sizes).
6. A faux-sheepskin rug for that sweet spot where your feet hit the floor beside your bed for a super luxurious start to your day.
Promising review: "I like to sit and do my makeup in the morning with a full length mirror this rug is perfect for sitting on for short periods. It looks really nice on cherry hardwood floors. I love that its a true black black." —Shellie Lynn Ramsey
Get it from Amazon for $30.99+ (available in four colors and nine sizes).
7. A set of bat poster prints that'll look like you unearthed them in a creepy, off-the-beaten-path antique shop.
Yellowbird Art & Design is a Colorado-based shop with lots of *dark* wall art...but some lighter wall art too!
Get them from Yellowbird Art & Design on Amazon Handmade for $18.95.
8. An ornate tabletop mirror that might just hold all sorts of dark secrets in a crumbling manse. But it'll also make putting on makeup a breeze thanks to its tilting abilities.
Promising review: "My favorite purchase in a long time! The mirror has a different pattern on each side so you can choose which one to display. I really love it, it's gorgeous! If you're on the fence, buy it now." —Diana R. Hall
Get it from Amazon for $29.90.
9. As sweet skull you can use to mix in your perfect amount of sugar into your morning coffee. Maybe that's why you're so sweet!
I can't be the only one who thinks about We Have Always Lived in the Castle while spooning out sugar.
Promising review: "These are very fun utensils. I surprised my family with them for Halloween and then on an early morning my wife surprised me with one in my yogurt. (Something almost Play-Doh Fun Factory watching the eyes bulge with Black cherry yogurt.) I bought them to just stir drinks with but you can use them for all spoon uses. The decorative end is smooth and safe, but after years of using a traditional spoon you will need to get over that small hump of the tip on your tongue. Better quality than I expected. Dishwasher-safe." —Big Dreamer Design Montgomery
Get a set of six from Amazon for $11.50.
10. And a dark, generously sized coffee mug that'll pair well with your skull spoon.
Promising review: "This mug is so cute. It's become one of my new favorites. It's sturdy and well made. It's made its way through my dishwasher several times and has no damage or paint coming off. The designs appear hand painted which to me isn't a problem as it's still adorable and useful." —Delainey
Get it from Amazon for $24.70 (also available in an Ouija board design).
11. Plus some sugar skull cubes to help you feel like a part of the living world again.
Dem Bones is a Tracy, California-based shop that has a variety of curiosities that def fit your dark/fancy tastes.
Promising review: "These are well made and packaged in a very cute manner. I included them in gifts baskets that were tea steeping and drinking themed, along with some good quality loose tea, an amazing steeper and cup, the sugar skull cubes 💀 were the cherry on top of the sundae!" —Amber
Get it from Dem Bones on Etsy for $7+ (available in multiple quantities).
12. Rose string lights to help create another light source in your lair (psst, every room needs three!). Oh, and they're remote-controlled.
Note that when unlit, the roses are white.
Promising review: "The lights are a beautiful blue when turned on. I would have rather the color be blue when turned off, but I still love them. I ordered the yellow for my mom and they are yellow without the lights and match her living room." —Ronnie
Get a 16.5' string from Amazon for $14.99 (available in four colors).
13. A black bath bomb that'll make you look like you're soaking in a delicious potion while helping you relax and soften your skin. (Don't worry! Reviewers say it won't stain the tub bc nongoth landlords just don't understand.)
Promising review: "My soul is squeaky clean. I love this bath bomb. It did not leave the tub black but it made me feel so delightful. Just soaking in a tub of black water and glitter made my evil broken soul smile. Will have to buy again in the fail right before a full moon to cleanse my soul again. Might make it a ritual, who knows?" —Becks
Get it from Amazon for $7.99.
14. A dream-decoding card set – it's part cheery and part gloomy (but honestly your Insta followers don't have to know that and can just assume they're sinister thanks to these gorgeous illustrations).
This deck includes 60 illustrated cards that'll take you through the strange scenes and symbols you may be seeing when you close your eyes at night.
Promising review: "These are beautifully illustrated and have thorough, detailed explanations." —Art Therapist
Get them from Amazon for $15.29.
15. A showstopping mesh dress you can use as a base for basically any special event's ensemble. Or just when you wanna jazz up your day. It has mesh! So it breathes!
Promising review: "I bought this for my birthday party this month (July). The dress came on time, fit me perfectly in every area and the material was fantastic for the price. I found no downsides to this dress other than the mesh is hotter than it looks. Having been born in the summer I’m used to it but it’s definitely toasty! I thought it was a beautiful addition to my closet. Dark but not tacky is my fashion goal lol. I found it to be a bit itchy, but I have the most sensitive skin of all time. Overall I’d buy this dress again, I loved it and so did everyone else!" —Kelly
Get it from Amazon for $16.99+ (available in sizes 2/4–22/24 and 12 styles/colors).
16. An etched stainless-steel wine glass sure to make some fava beans and a nice chianti taste even better.
17. A glam face mask that'll pump up the style of most any outfit. Like, I'm ready to host a ball just to wear it. Where shall I send your invite?
Tia Adoela is a NYC-based, woman-owned biz founded by Teni “Tia” Adeola (who was born in Nigeria, raised in London) in the summer of 2017 from her dorm room(!!!), drawing inspiration from the Renaissance period and her art history background to create the designs. (Don't even ask me about what I was doing in my dorm room.) I came across this brand and had to do some googling after I saw someone in an episode of YouTuber KarenBritChick's series "What Everyone is Wearing in New York" street style series donning this orange mask from the brand. (BTW, that someone was raving about the mask and said it was comfy.)
Type Of Fit: Stretchy Straps
Pocket For Filter: No
Fabric Type: Hand-wash only
Shipping Time: 1–2 weeks; made to order
Get it from Tia Adoela for $45.
18. A ~luminous~ backpack – it looks gray in daylight but really lights up at night in pastel goth-friendly hues. You've gotta carry your picnic blanket, snacks, and bottle of wine to the park in something. Might as well be this beaut!
Promising review: "It’s about the size of a large purse, has a small zip pocket, and two other small pockets inside. The drawstring and front clip are both sturdy. The straps are not padded, but are comfortable enough and stay where I’ve adjusted them to be. It seems sturdy. It’s also really reflective! It looks dark under normal daylight/indoor lights, but it’s really bright and colorful with a light shone on it. Love it!" —Charli
Get it from Amazon for $23.99+ (available in three sizes).
19. A trio of custom tombstones to help mark the herbs of your windowsill garden so no one makes the deathly mistake of putting the wrong one in a recipe.
20. A lacey kimono you can rock over shorts and a T-shirt now or as a swimsuit coverup later. Meet your summer goth lewk.
Get it from Amazon for $23.99 (available in one size and 25 colors).
21. A refurbished KitchenAid mixer in the loveliest color for whipping up all sorts of tasty things in the kitchen. Maybe you can REALLY get lucky and find out it's haunted by the former owner. (I kid! I kid! I kid?)
FYI, this pre-owned product has been professionally inspected, tested and cleaned by Amazon-qualified suppliers.
Promising review: "After much research, visiting several vendors, and calling Amazon, I took the plunge and bought this. I opted to go with refurbished due to the deep discount and guarantee from Amazon they would stand behind the product should it be defective. It was an Amazon Fufilled Product. Upon arrival and inspection, the mixer appears brand new and never been used. I have since used the mixer to do molasses cookies and couldn't be happier with this decision. In addition I did purchase the 3-quart bowl and whip attachment for smaller jobs. People have complained this mixer needs excess scraping of the bowl while mixing, I didn't find this to be the case. In the past, I have burned up two Heritage Sunbeam stand mixers as I cook a lot, not sure why I waited so long to dive in! Thanks Amazon..." —Amazon Customer in Maine
Get it from Amazon for $299.99 (available in 17 colors).
22. Some bat drawer pulls to bring that hand-me-down dresser over to the dark (but also shiny) side.
23. Matte black flatware so every bite, scoop, and slice helps you feel true to your own self.
This dishwasher-safe set includes service for four (four dessert forks, four dessert spoons, four dinner forks, four dinner spoons, and four dinner knives).
Promising review: "Finally a black matte set that does NOT chip! Beautiful finish, sturdy, have a nice weight, and they don't chip! I was worried about using dishwasher based on another set and reviews of similar sets I have read. Our set has been in the dishwasher many MANY times and still look brand new!" —Brande R
Get a 20-piece set from Amazon for $34.99.
24. A bootiful vase you can use for, well, obviously holding plants. But reviewers also use it to hold pens, toothbrushes...all kinds of stuff!
25. A dreamy crescent moon wall shelf that'll be the perfect spot for displaying your crystals.
Promising review: "Perfect little shelf for my crystals! I love that it has multiple hooks for hanging options. Very happy with my purchase!" —