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1. A ~neutral~ pillow cover with a less-than-neutral tone sure to make you chuckle.
2. Or a pillow cover that'll give your old couch a cheesy spin.
Get it from Amazon for $7.48.
3. A crap bag any Friends fan will gladly tote around town to help manage all their, well, crap.
Get it from DOTdesignsCo on Etsy for $10+ (also available in a tote).
4. Handy ears to keep your hair out of your face while you use your carbonated bubble mask. They'll be a winning combo for adorable selfies!
5. A sheet of uplifting stickers you can keep around when you need a lil' charming motivation!
Get it from Elsie & Nell on Etsy for $4.56.
6. A monstrously cute bookmark that'll help you keep your place in your legendarily long reading list.
Get it from Amazon for $8.20+ (available in three colors).
7. Pet goldfish earrings you won't have to feed.
Get two pairs from Amazon for $6.99.
8. Unicorn tape for making the stickiest of situations feel magical.
Get it from Amazon for $8.37.
9. A Baby Groot container ready to watch over your air plant and let you vent without interruptions.
Get it from Amazon for $7.70.
10. A couple of scalp massagers you can use to give yourself a super satisfying head massage... or record a hilarious video of your dog getting a wonderful massage.
Get them from Amazon for $1.36.
11. Ethereal curtains — they'll transform any view (even of the side of a brick building) into a magical moment.
Get a panel from Amazon for $8.10+ (available in a variety of sizes and styles).
12. Goofy clippers to lend you a hand...and foot.
Get them from Amazon for $8.90.
13. A sushi bazooka that'll convince you to make delish love instead of war.
You throw all your ingredients in the two halves, put them together, and push out the roll. Oh, and it's dishwasher-safe!
Get it from Amazon for $6.49.
14. A change purse for reminding you why you work hard for the money — so your IRL cat's butt has nice places to sit while you're in your cubicle.
Get it from Amazon for $4.99.
And also check out a set of six cat butt magnets.
15. And while we're on the subject, a sack of poo to give you some chuckles when you need them.
Maybe you keep the sack in your work filing cabinet?
Get it from Amazon for $9.
16. A Wishbone button to rep your main dog who spurred your interest in classic lit.
Get it from There Will Be Buttons on Etsy for $2.45.
17. Shakespearean insult bandages for covering the burns you're about to drop on all your friends.
Get them from Amazon for $6.96.
18. A toilet planter that'll make you chuckle a bit on the inside every time you glance at it on your desk.
Get it from Amazon for $8.99+ (available in a variety of designs).
19. A slow-rising, scented mango so you can squeeze and breathe your way through some trying interactions.
Get it from Amazon for $6.99.
20. A bag of unicorn farts that'll taste like cotton candy. Weird!
Get it from Amazon for $8.95+ (available in a variety of animal farts).
21. Candle succulents for a houseplant that finally won't shrivel up and die on you. Instead they'll melt! But at your discretion!
Get a six-pack from Amazon for $7.97.
22. A rewarding notepad you can fill out for yourself OR for a loved one!
Get them from Amazon for $8.14.
23. Vinyl decals to spice up your life (and your champs)! La la la, la la la la la la.....
Get them from Bespoke Bridal Shop on Etsy for $8.25 (available in a variety of colors).
24. A travel buddy that'll coax you over to the sunny side next time your flight is delayed because they can't track down the pilots.
Get it from Amazon for $9+ (also available in pizza).
25. Rainbow scratch-off notes can bring some fun to lil' reminders like "Take out the trash" and "Don't forget your lunch!"
Includes 150 sheets and two stylus pens.
Get it from Amazon for $7.99.
26. An angry mama who steam cleans the inside of your microwave instead of telling you to clean your room in this same exact stance.
Get it from Amazon for $7.98.
27. A hat that'll help ya' connect with other believers. Or just look really cool, OK?!
Get it from Amazon for $7.98+ (available in seven colors).
28. Feather pens to give a certain sense of gravity to the most menial tasks, like writing down your grocery list.
Get a pack of eight from Amazon for $7.99.
29. A backpack with bite that'll take a chunk out of the load in your arms.
Get it from Amazon for $6.99+ (available in 14 creatures).
30. A couple of claws for holding your spoon and preventing a mess when you're just trying to cook dinner and get it over with.
Get it from Amazon for $7.38.
And check out some matching silicone pot holders.
31. A cross-stitch pattern to help commemorate the WORST vacation ever.
There's a certain peace in concentrating on a cross-stitch pattern and nothing else.
Download the PDF pattern from Sew Happy Cross Stitch on Etsy for $5.
32. Socks with a timeless saying because, honestly, thou art the bomb! (It never hurts to remind people.)
Get them from Amazon for $8.95.
33. A low-maintenance pup you'll love as much as my corgi-loving friend.
No but really, I gave it to my friend Lauren and she adored it.
Get it from Amazon for $5.99.
34. A change purse that'll always be ripe for the picking.
Get it form Amazon for $9.83.
35. A kinda-creepy but mostly cute grasshopper finger puppet to put on a goofy show.
Get it from Amazon for $8.80.
36. And a mirror made to look like a MacBook you can tote around with abandon bc it's a fraction of the cost of the real thing. Also, you can set up some adorable pics of you and your cat working from home!
Get it from Amazon for $6.29 (available in three colors).
And no, I'm NOT going to tell you to smile.
Looking for more great Amazon finds? Check out some of our favorite cheap things to buy on Amazon, some of the weirdest things on Amazon you might actually want, or read through all the rest of our incredible Amazon product recommendations.
Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides!
