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How To: Get Back Together With Your Ex

Win the love of your life back in 3 simple steps - just like Allie and Noah in The Notebook because that movie was totally realistic in every single way!

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1. Step One: Become the Rumor Mill

Remember when you dated so-and-so? Forget about all the good memories! Right away, what you have to do is remember all the bad memories. Okay, now that you've got those in your mind just start telling everyone you know about how crappy they were to date. OR if you were unable to come up with bad memories, seeing as you want to win this person back, spread a nasty rumor. Be creative! Have fun with it. Be the rumor mill. This lets your ex know that you have moved on. So what you have to do is tell basically everyone about your crappy ex. Tell your teachers about your crappy ex. If you're a server tell your tables about your crappy ex. Tell everyone you know and meet about your crappy ex. It will be GREAT! Taking the high road is totally overrated, and would not lead to long term happiness.

2. Step Two: Drunk-anything is a GREAT idea!

So now that you have talked a bunch of crap about them, here comes the all important second step. Do you have a phone? Or do you know someone with a phone? Does the phone have texting capabilities? GOOD! Drink alcohol, or drink coffee, or maybe orange juice. Pick your poison. Sweet, okay drink up, and while drunk on love make any and all efforts to contact your ex. This is not limited to simple text messages, try direct message them on Twitter, if that doesn't work send an image through Instagram, still not reaching them? Try their MySpace, text their best friend, call them several times in a row. It's a great idea! Your ex would love to hear from you, I'm sure of it. Do not worry about sounding "clingy" or being "annoying". Blame it on love! Or the orange juice, whatever works.

3. Step Three: Make it rain, literally

If it rains, you're set. I don't know if you have ever seen a romantic comedy, but almost every important reunification includes rain. I don't know how you can make this work, but you need to find a way. Plan implementation of the first two steps around the Doppler Radar because without rain you are left without your ex. A) Rain makes everyone feel more romantic, it has probably been scientifically proven. B) Everyone looks good soaking wet, like scary little dogs. C) If you let the rain fall down, it will allow you to come clean like Hil Duff and you can invite your ex under your umbrella with Rihanna. Basically, rain is a must.

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