"Newborns Sleep Like Little Noisy, Possessed Exorcist Babies" — 18 Post-Pregnancy Things That No One Was Told About

    "I will never forget that internal slithering sensation as I walked down the hall and all my organs fell back into place."

    Recently, u/Sam_I_Am83 asked "what's something that happens after you give birth that people don't tell you about?" Here are some of the most upvoted responses:

    1. "Cramping as your uterus goes back to its pre-pregnancy size."

    2. "The massage on your stomach to get the placenta out. OMG. I passed out because it hurt so bad."


    "I only got a massage with my last one because the placenta was taking a little longer to come out."  


    3. "The first blowout. Within the first couple of weeks baby just let loose and cr*p basically exploded everywhere. It was absolutely a two person clean up as one took the baby and the other took everything he hit."


    "Just hope that blowout doesn't happen in a car... A 10 month old can plaster a hell of a lot of the car with shit from the safety of their carseat while you're barreling down the highway."  


    4. "I was not prepared for how painful my milk coming in would be. I’d just pushed a kid out my vagina after four days of labour and three hours of pushing. I thought I’d been through it all and was mostly done."

    5. "Your nurses have to check the location and firmness of your uterus at different intervals for the remainder of your hospital stay. This can be extremely uncomfortable and if your uterus isn’t firm they have to rub it to get it to tone up to decrease your risk of bleeding."


    6. "Bleeding for weeks."


    "Ugh yes. No periods for nine months, then nine periods worth in one month." 


    7. "You pass really big clots. Each birth I passed one the size of my hand a couple days after."


    8. "That first poop."

    9. "At some point, with no real training or any kind of test, they just leave you alone with the baby. You have to figure everything out. When to feed them, how many layers to dress them in, where to put them when they are sleeping, what to do when they aren’t sleeping and you need to poop. There is no manual that matches your personality and the babies."


    10. "Haemorrhoids are common, and they may not go away without medical intervention."


    11. "Not after, but just before: apparently you poop while pushing. It happened to a friend who had no idea this was a thing. She was too involved in the pushing (and the pain associated with it) to really care but was startled when she felt it happen. The nurse just winked at her and cleaned it up. Neither of us were aware that this is super common."

    12. "Postpartum hair loss."


    "I second the postpartum hair loss never being mentioned to me!! My favourite YouTuber had a kid and she was she only one who talked about."


    13. "Your insides go 'SLOOSH!' the first moment you stand up after giving birth."


    "I got up to use the bathroom about an hour after giving birth. I will never forget that internal slithering sensation as I walked down the hall and all my organs fell back into place." 


    14. "You NEED that sitz bath to soak your vagina/perineum stitches, because they get tight and itchy as hell. It’s deeply uncomfortable."

    15. "You have a plate-sized wound in your uterus from the placenta that takes a long time to heal."


    16. "Babies do not sleep quietly. My son would snort and flail and squeak. Also his breathing was so erratic, it was traumatic to hear/watch him hold his breath and stop breathing for what seemed like an eternity. I’ve since had three kids in total and all of them during the newborn period slept like little noisy, possessed exorcist babies."

    17. "Sleep deprivation. First two years of my son's life I hardly remember a thing due to never sleeping more than two hours in a row."


    "I remember very clearly the morning after the first night that our son slept a whole five hours at a stretch. I felt like a new person! I couldn't believe it."  


    18. "Postpartum night sweats! I soaked the bed almost every night for the first two weeks which is super fun when trying to take care of a newborn and change your sheets constantly."

    H/T to u/Sam_I_Am83 and AskReddit for having this discussion!

    Note: All submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

    Do you have anything else to add? Let us know in the comments below.

    Additional thumbnail credits: Getty Images / Fox / PBS / NBC