Jesse Helms Dies On July 4th

The North Carolina senator and Conservative superhero (dubbed “Senator No,” for his opposition to…well, everything) passed away of natural causes.

Maybe we’re hopelessly romantic, but it wouldn’t surprise us if, on every Martin Luther King, Jr. Day (which Helms opposed), if you listen really carefully, you’ll be able to hear echoes of racial slurs and homophobic slights emanate from the senator’s grave!

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