Adam Lambert Sings "Ring of Fire"

Last night, not-so-secret cross-dresser and American Idol contestant scared the sh*t out of America (or, at least, Randy Travis and I) with his bizarre, smug, cheesalicious desecration of Johnny Cash classic "Ring of Fire."

It seems inevitable that the musical theater vet will soar through the competition, but not without polarizing the audience in the same way he completely confused Randy Travis, who claimed Lambert "threw [him] for a loop...although he seems like a very nice guy." (Southern gentlemanly translation: "...the f*ck?")