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1. A vintage-inspired dress that'll quickly become a staple in your fall wardrobe.
2. A set of shredder claws, because who actually has time to wait for meat to cool before they handle or start shredding it? Not me, and I have the burned fingertips to prove it.
3. A waterproof eyeliner so you have everything you need to get a perfect winged look that doesn't rub off.
4. A bell sleeve dress perfect for your next brunch with the girls or romp around town.
5. A T-shirt with wings — you don't even have to suffer through an energy drink to get them.
6. A notebook so you can jot down all your random thoughts for your upcoming memoir.
7. An adorable door stopper your dog will thank you for.
8. A blackhead remover tool kit you should probably use instead of just picking away with your fingers.
9. An egg yolk separator, because it's just too damn hard to separate egg whites — I'm just saying what everyone is thinking!
10. A personalized book about your dog that tells the tale of your bestie through colorful illustrations.
11. An e.l.f. x Christian Siriano makeup kit so you can recreate the exact beauty looks from the runway at NYFW.
12. A one and a half inch latex pin that's asking the hard hitting questions.
13. A red gown you'll throw on when you're running to your next gala — or vacuuming your apartment.
14. A travel fund to give you an adorable place to save for that trip to Paris next spring.
15. A journal filled with a variety of art projects and activities meant to help you channel your inner creative process.
16. A children's book about activism and participation in change so you can start teaching them while they're young.
17. A personal mini humidifier small enough to fit in the palm of your hand but helpful enough to eliminate the airborne allergens that get your sinuses acting crazy.
18. A comfortable AF tee that totally speaks our language.
19. A set of Russian Doll measuring cups you'll have space for in your tiny ass kitchen.
20. A dishwasher safe smart funnel that attaches to your bottles of lotion/shampoo/dish soap/whatever to transfer the contents or refill another bottle. This way when one bottle begins to end, another can begin.
21. A floral shirt dress you'll definitely be able to throw on when you're running late — so maybe buy one for each day of the week?
22. A set of reusable plates to use for that Halloween party or Dia de los Muertos celebration you've been meaning to throw — or both!
23. A copy of Hillary Clinton's What Happened, because love her or don't, this election was a doozy and hearing her perspective is an important part to forming a well-rounded opinion.
24. A vitamin C serum to help rejuvenate your skin and give you a healthy glow.
25. A set of iridescent bowls that are just fuckin' beautiful.
26. A pair of socks, because you didn't go to medical school for all those years not to get these.
27. An eyebrow tint to help give the illusion you have the thick eyebrows you know you deserve.
28. A pair of tassel earrings so you can add a pop of color to your next #OOTD.
29. A kitty cape, because Cat Woman can keep her latex body suit — you're gonna save the world in an adorable hooded shawl.
30. A mug to help explain to all your coworkers why you never listen to them — doesn't mean it's the actual reason.
31. And a magical AF Harry Potter makeup bag, because makeup is magic — it should have a bag that tells the world that! I mean, if you don't believe me just look at my eyebrows in the morning.
My reaction when someone tells me they don't like anything on this list...
