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1. A totally wearable open-back plaid blouse, so you can mix your sense of style with your sense of lumberjack.
2. A gorgeous and creamy Besame Cosmetics rouge to use on your cheeks and lips, because maybe you are the fairest of them all and maybe you just wish you weren't.

3. A pair of cozy socks that'll be perfect for the next time you position yourself on the edge of your seat to see whether or not anyone is going to listen to Dr. Bailey when she's explaining her own health issues.

4. A two-piece Tasty colander set so you can soak and drain without straining yourself.

5. A pair of comfy AF Aerie boy brief undies designed with an empowering message across the back — 100% of proceeds go toward the National Eating Disorders Association, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting those affected by eating disorders.

6. A copy of the most beautiful, colorful, joyful, loving, best movie ever created by Disney or Pixar or anyone ever, Coco — I don't care if you disagree, you're wrong.

7. A gorgeous Asos pleated midi dress with an open back and ruffled detail, because after the party it's the hotel lobby and this dress will look good anywhere.

8. A dermatologist-recommended mattifying gel that'll help reduce shine using microparticles to trap facial oils and reduce shine and redness, without clogging up your pores.

9. A metallic accented Black Panther T-shirt, because when you visit Wakanda you better be looking good — I mean, did you see how amazing they're always dressed?

10. A set of metallic calligraphy markers so you can pretend to be the amazing artist you always wished you could be.

11. A bottle of decadent Juicy Crittoure Pawfum, because your fancy AF pup cannot be going around town smelling like a wet bitch.

12. A chrome-finish hanger stacker — like the ones they have in the stores, OMG! Finally, all those damn hangers won't be taking up all that damn space!!
13. A set of two Tasty 10-inch nonstick springform and cheesecake pans, because ever since I saw that fluffy jiggly Japanese cheesecake video all I think about is how much I want to make and try it.

14. A Tatcha Luminous Dewy Skin Mask filled with botanical oils, to give you a glowing and ultra-hydrated complexion.

15. A pair of sparkling sheer socks that'll sure make for some very fancy footwork.

16. A ruffled peplum shirt designed, quite literally, to be the only shirt you wear when you decide to go out to eat and really just live your best life.

17. A perfect-for-summer Old Navy square-neck dress you'll probably wear more than you'll want to admit.

18. An Apple TV remote case, because what is it going to take for you to stop losing this tiny-ass remote? It may be this case.

19. A tea tree beard oil for moisturizing, softening, and reducing the itchiness you can sometimes get from the hairs on your chinny chin chin.

20. A pack of Ninja bandages so you can sneak up on all those cuts and scrapes that need mending.

21. A cute-as-can-be glass mug that'll totally get everyone's seal of approval.

22. An informational and rhyming children's book, so your kids can start thinking about those existential life problems from a very early age.

23. An adorable Lip Smackers Tinker Bell Tsum Tsum Lip Balm, because other than moisturized lips, all you really need is faith, trust, and pixie dust.

24. A giant pack of alloy hoop earrings in every size you can imagine, so you never have to worry about losing one again.

25. A cotton T-shirt that is anything but fake news.

26. An adorable faux-fur bunny bag to help you carry your stuff while you hop around from place to place.

27. An incredibly informative and serious book filled with the kind of facts inquiring minds really need to know.

28. A roll of puppy stickers, because — actually, if you need a reason why you should buy puppy stickers, what kind of life are you even living?

29. A pair of festive beaded earrings so you can add the perfect pop of color to your end-of-winter-I'm-so-sick-of-the-cold-please-make-it-stop look.

30. A wrap one-piece bathing suit to help you get through summer looking chic AF.
31. A soft-grip handheld Tasty grater, because nothing is greater than when you have a meal covered in sprinkled cheese.

32. A vibrating shampoo brush that'll massage your scalp while helping you build a perfect, cleansing lather that's so relaxing, you may just cause a drought.

33. A bar of Shea Moisture African Black soap made with shea butter to help comfort your irritated and troubled skin.
34. A stretchy and comfortable pencil dress perfectly layered with a blazer for work or paired with a strappy heel for a night out on the town.

35. A set of delightful little bookmarks that'll hold your place when you have to take a break from your favorite story.

36. And a classic sheer black shirt you can layer with as much — or as little — as you want.

Me looking at my bank account after I buy all this stuff!
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