1. The Backstreet Boys because Backstreet's back — actually they never left, and they're awesome, and still swoon-worthy.
2. Monica for all the hits that helped you cope with your adolescent love life.
3. Green Day so you don't feel like a total American idiot for missing them.
4. Korn so you can finally get your mosh pit on.
5. Boyz II Men for the kind of vocal harmonies that'll make your heart melt.
6. Alanis Morisette. It would be ironic not to — or would it?
7. Blink-182 so you treat yourself to all the small things.
8. Celine Dion because she's a f#@king queen!
9. Snoop Dogg to have a good night bow-wow-wow-yippy-yo-yippy-yaying.
10. Britney Spears so everyone can say, "you're so lucky."
11. Warren G. You've just hit the east side of the L.B.C., you're on a mission trying to find him.
12. Hanson because the brothers grew up to be 🔥🔥🔥!
13. The Offspring. You're pretty fly and should probably let yourself enjoy a good concert.
14. Dru Hill to help mend your late-night, broken-heart woes.
15. Beck so you can belt out that you're a loser with a million strangers.
16. Mariah Carey because she is a living legend. I don't care what anyone says!
17. Third Eye Blind to hear quintessential '90s alternative rock songs that still play on your radio all the time.
18. The Goo Goo Dolls -- but don't worry you don't have to give up forever to see them.
19. Marilyn Manson so you can let your inner goth out for one night.
20. Brandy because you've been sittin' up in your room for too long.
21. The Foo Fighters for some good ol' fashioned post-grunge rock.
22. A Tribe Called Quest to hear some of the best lyricists of a generation.
23. Weezer to get your hip nerd on.
24. Smash Mouth because somebody once told you they put on a good show.
25. Ms. Lauryn Hill for some of the best written songs by one of the greatest artists of the decade.
26. Hootie & The Blowfish to experience a concert where it's totally okay to hold my hand.
27. Matchbox Twenty because maybe you're feeling unwell and need a little pick me up.
28. Bone Thugs N Harmony for classic '90s hip-hop.
29. Jennifer Lopez because her '90s beginnings were only the start to her status as a super star.
30. Coolio so you can figure out what he's been up to lately.
31. Barenaked Ladies because it's been three weeks too long since you last heard one of their tunes.
32. Garbage to be in the presence of the amazing Shirley Manson.
33. The Counting Crows for songs that make you come on, come on, jump a little higher.
34. And of course, Usher. Need we remind you of his abs?
And just in case you didn't believe me, I wanted to provide you with the receipts.
The songs "Semi-Charmed Life" and "How's It Going to Be," were hits off of Third Eye Blind's self-titled debut album, released in 1997. An earlier version of this post listed them as being off their album Blue, released in 1999.