28 Products That Are Perfect For Your Version Of A Wild Saturday Night
Dance floors, high heels, and too much cologne—no thanks, we're good.
We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page.
1. This adorable onesie because you're a lady on the streets and a Brachiosaurus in the sheets.
Get it from Amazon for $16+. (Available in a variety of characters and in sizes S-XL.)
2. These pimple patches 'cause you hate poppin' pimples just as much as you hate poppin' bottles in da club.
3. A meowvalous headband so you can keep your hair out of your face while you pamper yourself.
Get it from Amazon for $7.
4. These unicorn slippers that got that sunshine in their pocket, got that good soul in their feet.
Get them from Amazon for $17.
5. Or these lady bug sweeper slippers so you can do some house work, work, work, work, work, work while you lounge around.
6. Some bath bombs to make your tub the bomb-diggity.
7. A really charming movie that'll make you laugh, and cry, and then laugh again.
Get it from Amazon for $13+. (Available in DVD, Blu-ray, and Amazon Video.)
8. An anti-stress or charcoal face mask so it can be guaranteed that we ain't ever getting older.
Promising Review: "One of the best masks out there. I don't have to leave it on long. It keeps my blemishes away. Smells great, too." —Brenda Robinson
Get them from Amazon: Anti-Stress Mask for $4 and Charcoal Mask for $4.
9. A Wonder Woman blanket you can cuddle up in while she's looking at you, oh, oh, you, oh, oh, you, oh, oh, you, oh, oh, you, oh, ohm you, oh, oh, oh, oh.
10. Some under-eye masks because you need to give them a little pampering after all the side-eyeing you've been doing.
11. A tub of maple flavored cotton candy for that party you're throwing in your big-ass bed.
Get it from Amazon for $15.
12. A hair mask because you already have the eye of the tiger, why not have the mane of a lion.
Promising Review: "I use this every other day in the shower as my conditioner, (I leave it on for approximately three to four minutes, then rinse it out). It smells too good not to try. I am in aroma heaven in the shower. Mm. Mm. Mmm. After my shower, I do my normal hair routine and my hair feels, smells, and looks amazing! An added bonus is that my skin isn't irritated, and doesn't breakout from it! In summary, I'm in love with this stuff." —JP.Lovely
Get it from Amazon for $15.
13. Some delivery pizza so you never have to leave the house, and therefore never have to put on a bra.
Check out Pizza Hut, Domino's, Round Table, and Papa John's to see delivery options.
14. Or a pizza maker so you can make your own pizza, just make sure to let it cool before you drop, drop it like it's hot.
Get it from Amazon for $37.
15. Some PJs that are way more comfortable than apple bottom jeans, or boots with the fur.
Get them from Amazon for $10+. (Available in a variety of colors and in sizes XS-XXL.)
16. A family size pack of Oreos to eat entirely in one sitting because fuuuuuck it!
Get it from Amazon for $4. Also available in vanilla, birthday cake, mint, cinnamon bun, chocolate, lemon, peanut butter, and red velvet.
17. A wine glass that totally knows what's up.
Get it from Amazon for $15.
18. And the holder so it stays up while you marinate in bubbly water.
Get it on Amazon for $14. (Available in a variety of colors.)
19. Some face masks to let everyone know just how much of a party animal you really are.
20. A box of Funfetti cake mix and frosting guaranteed to make for a party in your mouth.
21. A nail polish holder because it's Saturday and I won't be long, gotta paint my nails...
Get it from Amazon for $10. (Available in a variety of colors.)
23. An eye mask that'll help reduce the puffiness after you ball your eyes out from watching way too many videos about puppies making friends with other animals.
Promising Review: "I really love this face mask. I'm getting older and the 'sleep' is taking longer to go away from my eyes. I'll put the mask on my eyes until it starts to melt. You can immediately see the puffiness go away. I do this everyday! I love that the puffiness around my eyes goes down right away and I am able to get ready and look fresh quickly." —Naty
Get it from Amazon for $8.
24. A tub of dark chocolate hazelnut spread. You don't need a reason, just do it.
Get it from Amazon for $6.
25. These cute AF pineapple PJs so you match with the marathon of SpongeBob you're about to watch.
26. A set of ice cream spoons because we all know you're eating your favorite flavors straight from the carton, just make sure to eat it despacito, otherwise you might get a brain freeze.
Get a set of four from Amazon for $13.
27. Some nail sheets because the only disco ball you wanna see is on your manicure.
Promising Review: "I love these and they are not difficult to use. Just cut the pieces and lay them on as desired with tweezers on a tacky nail. If the nail is not tacky, it's much harder. But it took me an hour to do the whole manicure and stick these, finishing it off with a clear top coat. Also, they're really reflective of the color underneath." —Natalie
Get it from Amazon for $9.
28. And this T-shirt so everyone knows it's not you, it's them.
Get it from Amazon for $13+. (Available in a variety of colors and in sizes S-5XL.)
Who needs to go out on a Saturday night when the most magical place in the world is your sofa?
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.