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    24 Hilarious Products That Just Might Make You Pee Your Pants

    Warning: You may need to change your underpants after reading this.

    1. A paper doll that'll answer the age old question of, "What should I wear?"

    2. A pouch for your pizza because it's the only handbag you really need.

    3. A golden penis trophy 'cause maybe there's a Richard in your life that needs to be rewarded.

    4. A shower curtain that is really a metaphor for the human condition.

    5. A bag of glitter for when you're a man but also totally f#@king whimsical.

    6. An action figure so you can finally have a toy that's a true representation of who you are.

    7. A Nicolas Cage pillow case that'll always be able to seduce you. (It's those bedroom eyes, they get me every time.)

    8. A unicorn horn because they do exist, damn it! And if you have to prove it by turning your pet into a one, then you will!

    9. A card for your S.O. that lets them know just how pure your love is.

    10. Some hand sanitizer for when you've gotta shake hands with a dude...I mean, you damn well know where their hands have been.

    11. A breathe spray that'll teach you a new language.

    12. An emergency bowtie for when you're James Bonding it for the night but forgot your accessories.

    13. A fork that'll go to the far reaches of another person's plate so you can enjoy their meal too.

    14. Some bacon-flavored toothpaste you'll use and then rinse with a glass of orange juice.

    15. A rubber tree you probably won't kill, but based on how lucky you've been this year...who really knows.

    16. A burrito blanket because your only true dream is to be snuggled like your favorite food.

    17. A toothbrush for that uncle who wouldn't shut up about the election this Christmas.

    18. A Grilled Cheesus because there is no better way to ask for forgiveness of your sins than with the golden halo of melted cheese.

    19. A T-shirt to wear as you suffer through your existential crisis and peer into the depths of your soul.

    20. A Mad Libs book to have on hand when Snoop D. O. double G comes to visit.

    21. A can of anal gland smell 'cause what better way to surprise her than with the sweet, sweet nectar of skunk butt juice?

    22. Some Abe Lincoln bandages that, like Taylor Swift so vehemently proclaimed, won't fix bullet holes. (Too soon?)

    23. A set a posters to piss off your neighbors.

    24. And, a tried-and-true Bag of Unicorn Farts 'cause Skittles aren't the only way to taste the rainbow.