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29 Ways To Own This Whole Adulting Thing

You're an adult: It's about time you fooled people into believing it.

1. A steamer so — at minimum — your clothes seem put together.

2. Some glasses that'll create a beautiful table (and help prevent you from dancing on top of it).

3. A bill organizer so the electric company doesn't turn off your power.

4. Some envelopes that'll help you budget your money because you're tired of only having $1.47 in your checking account.

5. A memo elephant so that you never forget.

6. An alarm clock that'll literally chase you out of bed.

7. A note pad that will finally get your life in order.

8. A mat that'll let you clean up in a flash when those unexpected visitors show up.

9. And some house slippers that will finally get you to sweep.

10. Some sticky notes so that you can prioritize all the shit you need to get done.

11. A wine opener because that lighter-string-screw bottle-opening hack is dangerous!

12. A hamper that will help you stop turning your whites into colors.

13. A cozy bed for your sponge so that it stops sleeping in your sink.

14. This book that will explain all the steps you need to become a grown-ass adult.

15. A kit that will help you clean up when the hot mess in you accidentally resurfaces.

16. A notebook you can reference when you're updating your resume.

17. A coffee mug that will be your motivation.

18. A plaque that will help give you the answers to all that you don't know.

19. This sign so you can finally learn how to do laundry.

20. This Amazon button because you can't keep running out of toilet paper all the damn time.

21. These stickers so you can award yourself when you get grown-up things done.

22. A book of form letters so that you can be kinda professional in your correspondence with other humans.

23. Some art because adults have art, right?

24. A phonebook because you will drop your phone in the toilet and rice might not save it the next time.

25. A grooming kit because, hipster or not, looking all scraggily isn't cute.

26. A water bottle that'll remind you to stay hydrated because hydration is preventing a hangover.

27. These folders that'll get all your paperwork in order.

28. A first aid kit because mom isn't home anymore, 'cause you don't live at home anymore.*

29. And this book because part of being put together means playing nice with others.

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