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Michael Bublé's Version Of "Santa Baby" Is Offensive To Christmas And To Me And This Is Why

I'm sorry, Santa who?

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It's almost December, and therefore the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas bells are ringing. Santa Claus is coming to town. And Michael Bublé, the patron saint of the festive season, is fully defrosted.

michael bublé is defrosting as we speak

Like most Christmas fans, I enjoy listening to Michael Bublé's Christmas album, Christmas, during the Christmas period. But I have a serious issue, and I can't stay quiet about it any more.

Warner Bros. / giphy.com

And that issue, my friends, is with Michael Bublé's cover of the classic Christmas tune, "Santa Baby".

Spotify

As I'm sure you already know, the song was originally released by Eartha Kitt in 1953, and iconically covered by pop queen Ms Kylie Minogue in 2000.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

These songs are GREAT. I have nothing against them and I'm all for asking Santa for increasingly elaborate Christmas gifts.

Paramount Pictures / giphy.com

My problem here is with Michael Bublé changing the lyrics in his version completely — to things that don't even necessarily make sense — in an attempt to make the song less ~feminine~ I guess?????

IFC / giphy.com

Take, for example, the verse in which the singer asks Santa to park a car under the Christmas tree for them. An unrealistic expectation, because cars are typically quite big, but otherwise the original lyrics are totally fine.

Michael Bublé changes several of the lyrics, all of which annoy me:– "Santa baby" becomes "Santa buddy", which is dumb, because the song is already called "Santa Baby".– He calls Santa "dude" instead of "dear". Have some respect for Santa!– He requests a "steel blue" car instead of a light blue one, because apparently men can't like light blue now??? Guys! Please!– He asks for a '65 convertible instead of a '54 one, but I don't know anything about cars so I'll let this one go.
Genius

Michael Bublé changes several of the lyrics, all of which annoy me:

– "Santa baby" becomes "Santa buddy", which is dumb, because the song is already called "Santa Baby".

– He calls Santa "dude" instead of "dear". Have some respect for Santa!

– He requests a "steel blue" car instead of a light blue one, because apparently men can't like light blue now??? Guys! Please!

– He asks for a '65 convertible instead of a '54 one, but I don't know anything about cars so I'll let this one go.

At one point, he requests tickets to see the Vancouver Canucks instead of an apartment. I know he's Canadian, but I feel like an apartment would be a better gift.

Walt Disney Studios / giphy.com

Like, what does Michael Bublé have against Tiffany Christmas decorations? Does Mercedes even ~make~ Christmas decorations? Please help me out here.

Genius

And if that wasn't enough, throughout the song Michael continues to refer to Santa as things like "buddy", "pally", and in one instance I can hardly bring myself to think about, "poppy".

ABC / giphy.com

I'm not the only person who's noticed this nonsense, and I will not stand for it any longer.

Can Michael Bublé please just sing Santa Baby as it was intended without any of this No Homo buddy junk, just be straight up gay for Santa like the rest of us

i'll never get over michael bublé (NOT the purveyor of fine seltzer, no) changing the pronouns and words of 'santa baby' to 'santa buddy' SING THE ORIGINAL OR DON'T COVER IT, YOU COWARD

i’m gonna go out on a limb and say the worst thing i’ve heard today is michael bublé’s version of santa baby in which he says “santa buddy”

I hate hearing Michael Buble's version of Santa Baby where he says "Santa Buddy." What He thinks he's too good to suck Santa's dick like the rest of us?

Anyway, I'm going to listen to the rest of Michael Bublé's Christmas album to calm myself down. Please tell me I'm not overreacting in the comments.