1. Have a Met Gala meet-cute where you take part in a kind of cringe-worthy dance-off.
2. Make sure your first outing together as a couple includes colour co-ordinated outfits and matching sunglasses.
3. In fact, do a complete 180 style-wise, ensuring that you match your new bae at all times.
4. Announce your relationship to the world with some grainy paparazzi shots on the cover of a tabloid newspaper.
5. Go on a date to your friend's concert and completely ignore all the other people you went with in favour of cuddling.
6. Make sure to meet your new boo's entire family within the first couple of weeks of the relationship, so they know it's real.
7. Declare your love for each other using temporary tattoos of each other's initials surrounded by hearts.
8. Introduce your new man to all of your friends at a very large party, but share none of the professional photographers' photos of him on your own social media accounts.
9. Perform PDA in front of Ryan Reynolds, causing him to do this face:
10. Go on a romantic tour of the entire world for your third date.
11. Have the entire world speculate as to whether your relationship is real or you're actually just shooting a really elaborate music video.
12. Or perhaps a piece of fun performance art.
13. Make sure that whenever anyone asks questions about your romance, you answer them with "um idk".
14. But if you DO decide to answer some questions, be sure to refer to your boo by their full name, so everyone knows EXACTLY who you're talking about.
“Well, um. How best to put this?” said Hiddleston, chuckling. “The truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we’re very happy. Thanks for asking.”
15. Also expressly state that your relationship is not a publicity stunt.
He even went on to clarify: “That’s the truth. It’s not a publicity stunt.”