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15 Animal Mating Rituals That Fail In The Human Dating World

Things get weird.

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1. Checking Out Potential Dates Like Walruses

Involves: Watching hotties do a frivolous dance in the water.

During mating season, female walruses sit on an iceberg while the males entertain them in the water.

2. Flirting Like Hippos

Involves: Getting poop thrown on you.

When attracting a female, male hippos will urinate and defecate, using their tails to whip it around and spray the females.


3. Having One Night Stands Like The Praying Mantis

Involves: Biting off your lover's head and eating it afterwards.

During or after mating, the female praying mantis will bite off the male's head and eat it.

4. Taking Someone Home Like A Bowerbird

Involves: Presenting them with an assortment of useless trinkets.

Male bowberbirds decorate their homes with random trinkets to impress potential mates.


5. Having A Crush Like A Hooded Seal

Involves: Being completely obvious and showing your crush literally all over your face.

When a male hooded seal sees a female he's attracted to, he will inflate his elastic nasal septum, which looks like a large pink balloon on the top of his head.

6. Checking Out Someone's Ass Like A Macaque

Involves: Just providing some fruit.

Male macaques will pay in fruit to get a peek at a female's rear end.


7. Being Turned On Like Buff-Breasted Sandpipers

Involves: Armpits.

Buff-breasted sandpipers attract mates by flapping their wings and flashing the white undersides, referred to as their 'armpits.'

8. Expressing Interest Like Lovebirds

Involves: Bobbing your head whilst scratching theirs.

The courtship dance of a male lovebird involves bobbing their head and scratching the female's head.


9. Finding True Love Like Great Hornbills.

Involves: Singing a duet.

Great Hornbills are very vocal during mating season and "repeat a honking call in several intervals."

10. Finding Your Soulmate Like The Albatross

Involves: Busting out the same dance moves.

When the albatross find a mate for life, the pair will do a dance so elaborate and synchronous that it looks like a rehearsed number from a musical theater performance.


11. Asking Someone Out Like Dance Flies

Involves: Presenting them with food wrapped in silk.

Male dance flies will catch prey and wrap it in silk before presenting it as a gift to the females.

12. Proposing Like Penguins

Involves: Presenting the intended with a rock. And not a diamond. Like a rock you could pick up from the ground at any given moment.

Male gentoo penguins present their potential mate with a rock when trying to woo her.


13. Seducing Someone Like Camels

Involves: Foaming at the mouth.

Arabian camels use their spit to make a low gurgling sound to get the attention of the females, which also results in a white foam accumulating around their mouths.

14. Or Seducing Someone Like Whooping Cranes

Involves: Leaping, twirling and throwing light objects.

The whooping crane mating ritual involves lots of wing flapping, leaping, and object-flinging.

15. Putting Yourself Out There Like Sloths

Involves: Screaming.

When a female sloth is ready to mate, she lets out a scream to alert the males in her area.