1.Look at this baby sloth. He is too innocent to know about taxes or student loans or the people who actually buy things in the "As Seen on TV" section.
2.Too tiny and new to this world to know about the "Casual Encounters" category on Craigslist.
3.Shhhhh! Please nobody tell this little guy that people DO wear socks and flip-flops together.
4.It's OK, little baby sloth, the monsters who still send Farmville invites aren't real.
5.And the DMV? It's a lovely, quiet place where you go to get your license renewed and it only takes like 10 to 15 minutes and everyone is cheery.
6.So many innocent angels who don't need to know what it's like being on a crowded elevator that is stopping on every floor when you need to go to the highest floor.
7.Precious babies who should never face the struggle of trying to abbreviate the word "casual."
8.LOOK AT HIM. DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THAT GUAC COSTS EXTRA.
9.LOOK AT THIS FACE. YOU CAN'T SHOW THIS FACE ALL THE TERRIBLE TINDER MESSAGES YOU'VE RECEIVED.
YOU KNOW WHAT, DON'T EVEN BRING UP TINDER AT ALL, THEY ARE TOO PRECIOUS TO HAVE TINDER ON THEIR MINDS.
10.So young and hopeful and unaware that in order to get a job these days you need like 8,000 internships and none of them ever pay.
11.Too pure to know that Hoarding: Buried Alive has five seasons and is still going strong.
12.And god forbid this precious snowflake finds out how divided we became over THE COLORS OF A DRESS.
13.Or how we have made DADBOD a THING.
14.Shamelusts? Let's ESPECIALLY keep those to ourselves amongst these truly wholesome creatures.
15.Tell them a bedtime story, but don't tell them about FAN FICTION. IT'S TOO MUCH FOR THEIR UNTAINTED LITTLE MINDS.
16.And whatever you do, DON'T. MENTION. MINIONS. DEAR GOD DON'T MENTION MINIONS.
