Cats and dogs are a lot of work. So here's a list of pets rated on a scale of 1-10 (1 being least responsibility required), that you can PROBABLY handle if you're an irresponsible shit.
2. Ant Farm
4. Your Neighbor's Cat
5. Sea Monkeys
6. Birds Outside Your Window
7. The Ladybug That Will Inevitably Make It Into Your House Whether You Want A Pet Or Not
9. Perfect Polly
10. A Terrible Piece Of Taxidermy
DISCLAIMER: Ultimately you are your own judge and only you can determine your irresponsibility levels. If you're still having trouble taking care of yourself, figure that out before you get a pet. Godspeed to you.