9 Toilets That Will Make You Choose To Shit Your Pants

Because having to do laundry is better than having a spider tickle your butt.

1. Here is a prime example of why you may not want to use a toilet.

Elliot Budd / facebook.com

2. SUDDENLY, you don't have to go quite so badly.

3. AND THE LAWN SEEMS LIKE AN ACCEPTABLE PLACE TO DO YOUR BUSINESS NOW.

Michael Connor / Facebook: Michael.G.W.Connor

(And yes, that bat is alive and ready to flop around near your most private regions.)

4. EVERYWHERE FEELS ITCHY.

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5. CATFISH ARE FINE BUT NOT WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO POOP.

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6. HAHAHAHAHA OOPS JUST WENT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

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7. Toilets aren't even that great anyways, right? RIGHT?

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8. *INTERNAL SCREAMING*

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9. Oh wait this toilet is fine... JUST KIDDING HERE HAVE SOME NIGHTMARES.

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HAVE FUN NEVER USING A TOILET AGAIN.

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Special thanks to National Geographic for this documentary/horror film.