It's time to set something straight, world. PUPPIES CANNOT BE TRUSTED.
They will wait for the moment you turn your back on them, and then get tangled in the string lights.
They'll sneak onto your bed and pretend that they won't leave fur everywhere.
And they will eat dirt and try to act like they didn't.
Puppies will be loud even when they promised to be quiet.
They'll watch you sit down after a long day of work and not even offer to rub your feet.
And they'll dirty your dishes and refuse to clean them.
They attack the weak, without mercy.
I mean, what kind of "innocent" creature picks on a helpless baby pumpkin?
Plus, PUPPIES WILL FALL ASLEEP ON YOU.
No matter how interesting or exciting your story is, they're bound to fall asleep during it.
They'll look cuter than you in pictures.
And they'll pull off styles that you could never dream of trying.
Even dogs (who were once puppies) don't trust puppies.
And puppies will cause them to become immobile and distant.
And more than one puppy means sneaky business meetings behind closed doors.
Seriously, how can you put faith in someone who wears TINY SWEATERS, but can't even put them on without help?
And they're not about to lift a paw to help you out.
Puppies act like they know what they're doing -- they don't.
Puppies are rude and have bad manners, but there's nothin' we can do about it because they're just too darn cute!
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