"The Queen's Gambit" Released On Netflix, So Of Course I Had To ~Check~ It Out
They had me at Anya Taylor-Joy.
Ever since I watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone as a wee babe, I've had an obsession with chess. Can I play? Not at all. But am I still fascinated by this high-stakes game of boxes and mini figurines? Abso-friggin'-lutely.
Warner Bros.
So, when I found out that Netflix was releasing a show about this woman from the '50s who was the bomb.com at chess, I was immediately intrigued.

The JAM
HOWEVER, when I found out that the series starred Emma's Anya Taylor-Joy and Nanny McPhee's Thomas Brodie-Sangster, I knew I had to watch this show posthaste.

©Netflix / Courtesy Everett Collection
Without further ado, here are my thoughts on the pilot of TQG:
Before we jump in, here's the synopsis that Netflix gives for The Queen's Gambit:

Netflix
1. OK, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that chasing pills with a nip of alcohol is NOT a good idea:

Netflix
That being said, color ya girl INTRIGUED!
2. Oh, no. Unnamed red-headed female is an orphan. Sad!

Netflix
Update: Her name is Elizabeth.
3. I'm REEEAAALLLYYYYY hoping this orphanage lady doesn't turn out to be a trash human:

Netflix
6. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

Netflix / Sony Pictures
8. Name a more iconic duo:

Netflix
Like, when I was her age, I barely knew how to play checkers.
9. "Don't do it, girl. It's not worth it." "I'm not gon' do it, girl. I'm just thinking about it."

Netflix
"I did it."
10. If I had a nickel...:

Netflix
11. WINNER WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER!

Sony Pictures / Netflix
Side note, at the end of this pilot, am I gonna know how to play chess? Methinks so!
12. Nine-year-old chess prodigy. #TeamBeth!!

Netflix
I stg, if they kill Beth's mentor, Imma riot.
13. Fuckin'. Baller.

Netflix
14. The look of utter disdain on this child's face:

Netflix
Beth was like, "I'd much rather have the money."
15. TWO GAMES AT ONCE!! BALLER X 2!!

Netflix
She literally plays the rest of the game without looking at the chess board. HER MIND! WE MUST LEARN FROM HER!
16. IF THIS WOMAN COMES FOR BETH AND MR. SHAIBEL'S MENTORSHIP, IMMA FLIP A TABLE!

Netflix
17. Ah, yes. The state finally made it illegal to pump kids with tranquilizers, and now they's tweakin' for the goods!

Netflix
THIS. IS. WHY. YOU. DON'T. GIVE. KIDS. DRUGS.
18. OK, I don't like that Jolene gave her drugs, but I'd be lying if I said that the sentiment didn't pull at my heartstrings:

Netflix
I don't blame the children! I blame the system!
19. My girl Beth is about to SCHOOL these boys! Today's lesson? Chess, BITCH!

Netflix
20. Beth is a savage:

Netflix
Spoiler alert: She wiped the floor with these boys.