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    I Watched The First Episode Of "Squid Game" Because Everyone Keeps Talking About This Dude With The Red And Blue Card

    I was...not prepared.

    🚨WARNING: Spoilers ahead, obvs.🚨

    Hello, dear reader! Tis I! Back at it again with another "I watched this so you don't have to" post. For over a week now, I've been hearing multiple people talk about this show called Squid Game, so I decided to take a look!

    Photo of me eating a pumpkin-shaped candy corn

    Right off the bat, I'll admit that I do not know a DAMN THING about this show. Is it a game show? A drama? A comedy? An aquatic documentary? Who's to say!

    So, even though no one asked, I decided to watch the first episode of the series and give you my thoughts anyway:

    Before we jump in, here's the synopsis that Netflix gives for Squid Game:

    Summary card for Squid Game

    Initial thought: I didn't know that this show was in Korean!! But I am HERE FOR IT! I love that a foreign show is getting all this buzz!

    Thirty seconds in and I can already do this:

    A flashback of kids playing a game on top of a meme of Leo DiCaprio pointing at a screen

    This dude (aka Gi-hun, our protagonist) is tryna steal money from his mom's bank card! I am straight-up not rooting for this mans:

    Gi-hun attempting to withdraw money from his mother's ATM card

    I am so mad Gi-hun won, but HOPEFULLY he uses his winnings to buy Ga-yeong a really nice birthday present:

    Gi-hun collecting his winnings from the teller

    Gi-hun's bookies are chasing him for the money he owes — and, TBH, I don't condone gambling, but I'm not upset about this man getting his ass kicked — and while on the run, he bumps into this kid who I FEEL LIKE is going to come back into play:

    A close-up of a young girl

    I WAS RIGHT! The kid stole his money!

    Gi-hun realizing he was robbed

    OK, now I feel bad.

    OK, they're giving him a month to get the funds, but sir, DON'T SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT READING IT FIRST!

    A close up of a contract

    Ga-yeong is an icon and deserves a better father than Gi-hun:

    Ga-yeong reading her dad to filth


    A man asking Gi-hun if he wants to play a game

    My mind immediately went to this. Just sayin':

    This seems sus...but I obvs want him to play because I gotta see how this pans out:

    The man holding up two cards in Gi-hun's face


    The man asking Gi-hun about the contract he signed

    Gi-hun is gonna play the ~mysterious~ game in order to win money to get his daughter back / keep her from moving to America with her mom and stepdad.

    Gi-hun on the phone

    Holy shit. That is a lot of people participating in this game...

    Gi-hun waking up in the dorm room for the players


    The kid confronting a man she's wronged

    OK, we're getting some rules! Six games over the course of six days, and if you win, you get money...

    The game makers explaining the rules to the players

    Awe, sookie sookie, now!

    A screen of the players playing the "red card, blue card" game with the man

    Another day — or rather, the same day — another signed contract without reading the fine print:

    A closeup of a contract that says Clause 1: a player is not allowed to stop playing

    OK, game one is "Green Light, Red Light!" Seems easy enough! I used to play this game as a kid:

    The game players getting ready to play their first game

    Yeeted from life, got it.

    Big brother...or, I guess, big doll girl, is always watching:

    Work smarter, not harder. Hide behind someone so your movements can't be detected:

    The kid hiding behind her adversary


    A stranger saving Gi-hun from death

    HOLY. SHIT. Again, I didn't know what I was getting into when I first started this show, but now ya girl is HOOKED! I will say, if gore isn't your thing, maaayyybeeee stay away from this one, but if you don't mind bloodshed and twisted mind games, then this is the show for you!