Hello, humans! My name is Ehis and I am a fan of Disney content. Growing up, my all time fave was Beauty and The Beast.
As a kid, I was obsessed with Belle. A princess who loved to read? Sign me the heck up! But, after a recent conversation with a coworker, I seemed to forget the ENTIRE plot of Belle's movie.
Like, why did she end up having to live with the Beast again? What was Gaston's damage? And where on EARTH did Beast get that gorgeous yellow gown that just so happened to fit Belle perfectly?
Naturally I thought, "Time to rewatch! #Shoutout to Disney+," but, what I THOUGHT was a wholesome musical about a booking-loving girl who falls in love with a man despite his looks turned out to be anything but.
Anyway, here are my thoughts:
1.Hold up. The prince got cursed into becoming a beast for turning away a woman trying to spend the night at his home? What ever happened to stranger danger?
2.Why was the entire castle cursed if it was the prince's mistake?
3."There goes the baker with his tray like always, the same old bread and rolls to sell..." Is Belle really judging this man for making a living? Rude.
4.The sign outside clearly says "Bookseller," and yet, Belle is borrowing all of these books. How does this man stay in business? Buy a damn book, Belle! And you're out here judging the baker for making an honest living...
5.I'm now realizing that everyone thinks Belle is odd not because she reads, but because she has no job and walks around oblivious to the town.
6.Did no one in that "provincial town" below really not know about this big-ass castle?
7.I'm sorry. What is with this family entering the homes of people in which they are not invited?
8.OK c'mon, Beast. Lifetime imprisonment in your castle seems like a long sentence for trespassing.
9.Why does LeFou spend his days gassing up Gaston? Did he save his life? Is his job title "Gaston's personal hype man"?
10."Her father and her freedom in one day." My goodness.
11.What ~exactly~ is the grey stuff?
12.Beast asked you not to go to the west wing. So, what do you do? Go to the west wing. WHY BELLE? Intruding into spaces you're not invited to is exactly how we ended up in this predicament.
13.YO, WHO IS THIS OLD GOON?
14.Beast was human once, no? He really forgot how to use a spoon?
15.Why all the pomp and circumstance? What's the occasion?
16.All jokes aside, this scene is still magical as heck.
17.Do, we ever find out Beast's real name?
18.Most importantly: is Cogsworth a FUNCTIONING CLOCK?
In conclusion, I clearly overlooked a lot of things as a kid when it came to plot and character development. But, I can say this: whether I'm a young girl or an adult woman, "Tale As Old As Time" will ALWAYS make me feel some type of way.