The First Episode Of "Friends" Is The Least Problematic Episode In The Series

The one where it all went downhill from there.

As a millennial who has a pulse, I can admit that I have an unhealthy obsession with a lil' show called Friends. It's news to NO ONE that this show is, how do you say, ~of its time~.

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More than a decade later, and I'm STILL offended.

But, ever since Friends became available on HBO Max, I've been really curious about how the show got its start! I remember the breaks and the unagis and the holiday armadillos and the pivots, but I have very little recollection of the pilot itself.

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So what better time than now to rewatch the first episode of Friends and see how it holds up?

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Spoiler alert: I expected a LOT worse.

Without further ado...

The opening notes to "I'll Be There for You" get me every time:

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I mean, this is also my reaction to Ross, but this was a BIT much:

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OK, not to be THAT GUY, but Monica and Ross GELLAR are sittin' a little too close:

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I will say, Rachel did have a pretty iconic character entrance:

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Wait, I am JUST NOW realizing this...shitty move, Rachel. Shitty move:

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Ahh, yes. Because only lesbians drink beers straight from the can...?:

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This "women are flavors of ice cream" and "grab a spoon" metaphor has been going on for like 5 minutes...and the episode is only 22 minutes!

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That's almost a quarter of the episode, where men view women as food to try rather than as, you know, people.

Ahh, an early primer for the Ross and Rachel saga:

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I wonder what flavor of ice cream Ross would consider Rachel to be.

Awww, how cute:

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At least she's trying!

I am feeling hella inadequate with my one and only credit card:

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I wish my parents paid the bill on my ONE credit card, let alone FIVE. But, you know what this is? Growth.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!

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Not the best move to ask a girl out the day after she was supposed to get married, but this was network TV in the '90s, after all. You gotta move quick!

Aannnnddd...just when I thought I was out...THEY PULL ME BACK IN!

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Sexist metaphor aside...

Wow, OK. Call me bonkers, but...that didn't age that bad? Sure, it was hella white, and there were questionable notions about queerness, but it seems to me that this was one of the least problematic episodes in the series.

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It's kinda hard to believe that in only a few seasons, we'll get this...

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...and this...

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...and, oh god, this.

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I really wish I could unsee this.