1.
I hate to break it to the man who wrote this, but this is not how ovulation works:
2.
Show me a woman who describes their vagina in this fashion and I'll show you a liar:
3.
AKA the Goldilocks of breasts:
4.
THIS IS A COOKBOOK. I REPEAT: THIS IS A COOKBOOK:
5.
Fuck Love in the Time of Cholera:
6.
This author can teach a master class in negging:
7.
It is so possible...not to notice/comment on the feet of this woman...who's lying in the floor dead:
8.
Not only is this weird...it could benefit from some editing:
9.
"A neckline that would baffle a giraffe." Y'all, I cannot make this up:
10.
Take a shot every time the narrator talks about Sonja's ass:
11.
They almost had me in the first half:
12.
"She managed to be well-proportioned without being in any way a hazard or a public nuisance." I----OK.
14.
Maybe if YOU were more amiable...you know what, not even gonna dignify this with an insult:
15.
Apparently, the only thing women are good for is making babies, according to Kurt Vonnegut:
16.
Pure...childish...nipples. I want to yeet this from society:
17.
A big and sincere fuck you to Stephen King for implying that a BATTERED WOMAN is the reason why a man would rape and murder other women:
18.
We got a two-pher with this one: gross AND racist:
19.
Fuck this shit, I'm out:
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