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    ATTENTION: Helen Thermopolis Is An Awful Mother, And Here's Why

    Helen robbed Mia of a relationship with her dad all so that she could throw darts at paint-filled balloons.

    Hello, member of the internet. Lately, I've been rewatching all the content from my youth because I am in a perpetual state of living my best Y2K life.

    DreamWorks Pictures

    In my recent rewatches, I've noticed how awful Lorelai and Rory are from Gilmore Girls; how wronged Capt. Lon Hammond was by Allie and Noah in The Notebook; and now, I've moved on to Helen Thermopolis and the fact that she should win the Worst Mother of The Year Award.

    Buena Vista Pictures

    I thought Lilly was the worst character in The Princess Diaries, but that is no longer true. 

    1. FIRST OF ALL, when Helen informed Mia that her grandmother was in town, she didn't even think to give Mia a heads-up about the BOMB that Clarisse was about to drop:

    Helen telling Mia that her grandmother wants to have tea
    Buena Vista Pictures

    OH, THERE WAS TEA, ALRIGHT! 

    2. Also, Helen tasked Clarisse with telling Mia that she's a princess — yes, Clarisse is the queen, but she's also a virtual stranger to Mia? Maybe this is something Helen could have sprung on her? Just a thought.

    Queen Clarisse telling Mia she's a princess
    Buena Vista Pictures

    Thinking about how much Helen didn't tell Mia is giving me a migraine. 

    3. This brings us to the crux of the issue — Helen fucking lied to her kid for her entire life:

    Mia having a conversation with her mother
    Buena Vista Pictures

    THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!

    4. Not only did she LIE, but Helen was A-OK with keeping Mia's birthright away from her:

    Helen explaining to Mia why she made her dumb decision
    Buena Vista Pictures

    MIA IS THE FIRST BORN! THE LINE OF SUCCESSION GOES TO HER! 

    5. Basically, Helen lied so that she could be an ~artist~ even though Mia's late father is the one who paid for their apartment/Mia's tuition...so it doesn't look like art is working out too well for her!

    Helen explaining to Mia why she made her dumb decision
    Buena Vista Pictures

    Selfish is the only word that comes to mind. 

    6. Mia hit the nail on the head with this one:

    Mia confronting her mom about her awful decisions
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    Helen then said that she, Clarisse, and Mia's late father discussed it and agreed that they would keep their distance so Mia could have a "normal" childhood. However, methinks Mia would have preferred to, you know, have a relationship with her dad — ESPECIALLY SINCE HE PERISHED BEFORE THEY COULD MEET!

    7. "Families don't do that stuff to one another."

    A screenshot of Mia and Dom from Fast and the Furious
    Buena Vista Pictures / Universal Pictures

    Dom Toretto is LOSING HIS MIND!

    8. OK, I know this is petty, but Helen got Mia a car...that doesn't run...and then tasks her with paying to get it fixed?

    Mia and Clarisse walking to her limo and Doc talking to her about the cost of her car
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    HELEN! HER DAD WAS A PRINCE! HER GRANDMA IS THE QUEEN! HOW DID YOU FUMBLE THE BAG THIS BADLY? 

    9. THE ICING ON THE CAKE? HELEN STARTS DATING MIA'S TEACHER WITHOUT ANY CONCERN FOR HER TEENAGE DAUGHTER:

    Mia talking to Helen about dating her teacher
    Buena Vista Pictures

    Once again, Helen. Is. Selfish. 

    10. The tea is if Helen told Mia the truth, she would know how to handle the media melee:

    Clarisse talking to Helen and Mia in the principal's office
    Buena Vista Pictures

    But of course, Helen was only thinking about herself. 

    11. The cherry atop the icing on the cake was at Mia's big ball — not ONLY does Helen not know the whereabouts of her own DAUGHTER, but she arrives at aforementioned ball with her daughter's TEACHER, who I guess she's seriously DATING*:

    Helen and Mr. G stressing about Mia's whereabouts
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    *Spoiler alert: They get married, because apparently there's only one man in San Francisco.

    Granted, I am not a mother to a child — I am a mother to a cat, but that isn't pertinent here — however, I do think Helen's actions for the past 15 years can be summed up in three words: pretty fucked up.

    Helen handing Mia a bag of trash
    Buena Vista Pictures

    Ironic that Helen is handing Mia the trash to take out when SHE'S the trash who needs to be taken out. 

    All in all, Helen is the one who needs an attitude adjustment.

    Helen lamenting about how she's a bad mother
    Buena Vista Pictures

    This is the only time I've agreed with this woman in this entire film. 

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