Buzz·Posted on Mar 2, 201936 Jokes To Send Your Group Chat Right Now That'll Have Everyone Replying With "Same""Getting touched during heads up seven up was the last time I felt something."by Ehis OsifoBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Alice Wetterlund @alicewetterlund Me, in hell: I was told there would be a “special” place for me? 04:31 PM - 25 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Adrianna 🍒 @aydreezyy I am a: ⚪️ Man ⚪️ Woman 🔘 Dumb bitch Looking for: ⚪️ Women ⚪️ Men 🔘 My keys that i had 2 seconds ago 08:57 AM - 12 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. emma @emmachamberlain i havent fully stopped at a stop sign since i was born 02:57 AM - 26 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. nick @nickccerino i’ll be laying next to my charger watching my phone die https://t.co/gtu3BDKsD7 08:07 PM - 24 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. queen quen @quenblackwell is my baby fat ever gonna leave or did it just turn into fat fat? 09:06 PM - 21 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Shafeeq @Y2SHAF your airport outfit is very important I don’t care what anyone says 04:19 PM - 21 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. R U B Y ♡ R Ø S E @rubexcubex when u drop ur charger down the side of the bed in the dark 06:09 PM - 18 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Jens @excesstential Getting touched during heads up seven up was the last time i felt something 02:22 AM - 20 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. leen 5 @softedhearts i am: ⚪️ gay ⚪️ straight ⚪️ bisexual ⚪️ asexual 🔘 annoyed at people who tell me to stop bouncing my leg because it’s a distraction for them or because it bothers them— i’m sorry you don’t have anxiety susan, stop fucking judging me and let me be internally anxious in peace 07:07 AM - 18 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Kyle @kkunta__ Does anyone actually know what you're suppose to do when people are singing happy birthday to you 08:00 PM - 18 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Im Meechie I Got The Chips @DemetriusHarmon everytime the law & order theme song comes on 04:30 AM - 19 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. ∗⁎ପadriଓ˖* @alm1ghtyadri I hate when my friends think they’re ugly, like why would I be friends with an ugly bitch ???? 10:22 PM - 17 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )Alex( ✌︎'ω')✌︎ @ABlannar Sitting on my parents bed for 20 mins before I ask them if I can hangout with friends because I was scared that they would say no https://t.co/xj1xxdCSIH 04:07 AM - 17 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. anthony @xforcades4 them: "it starts at 5" me in my head: it's starts at 5 but i gotta be there by 4, so i have to leave the house at 3, so i have to start getting ready at 1, so i have to wake up at 11 06:06 PM - 17 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Shenanigans @Shenanigans_luv Yeah I’m DTF Doing The best I can and Fucking it up anyway 11:35 PM - 16 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Sarah Marshall @Remember_Sarah Remember how in EASY A Emma Stone's parents were Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson and all anyone wanted was a saucy bedroom romp about THEM or maybe that was just me? 04:05 AM - 14 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Edgar Momplaisir @edgarmomplaisir Today’s tea: ) ) ) ) ( ) ) _(___(____)____(___(__ _ \ you don’t hate / \ Nickelback / | \ you just do /____| \ as your / \ told / \___________/ 05:46 PM - 13 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Rachel Wenitsky @RachelWenitsky I feel like a lot of people are 23 for many many years and then suddenly they are 30 does this make sense? 04:23 PM - 13 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. gaddy 👾 @gaddy_alex if you choose a table over a booth I can’t trust you 09:55 PM - 11 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Thatguy Chris D @thatguyCD Me showing my therapist my inner demons for the first time. 06:02 PM - 06 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. 𝓈𝒶𝓎𝓃𝒶 @DAREDEVllLS bitches take their laptops and notebooks to coffee shops and get no work done while acting like they’re in an indie movie. i’m bitches. 09:34 AM - 11 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Dalys @dalysluna When you’re on a roller coaster and you know the camera is coming up 05:25 PM - 10 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. Torrence De los Santos @Istrutt_ YOU MISSPELLED ONE WORD ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND HERE COME AKEELAH AND THE BEE 08:41 PM - 09 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. (678)-999-8212 @restinpeacethot no one: me tryna find a song: 🌳 / 🚘 || \ / 🚘 \ "oh shit lol” 🌳 / 🚘 || \ / || \ 🌳 / || \ 06:53 PM - 08 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. Alec @aIecrl Today I had 800 mg of caffeine, exercised for 2 hours, ate literally 80 pizza rolls, and did a facemask. The line between self care and self destruction is a fine one but god do I walk it hard brother 04:45 AM - 07 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. anthony @xforcades4 me: *gets in uber* me: hi uber driver: hey me: driver: me: driver: *arrived* me: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 06:41 PM - 07 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. bubz @WhiteBoyBubz Netflix should have a category called "easy to follow while looking at my phone the whole time" 02:24 AM - 06 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 28. Nik @AmoNickk Girls don’t even be shopping, they just walk around touching clothes saying “this is cute” 12:30 AM - 06 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 29. Amy Who? @amywhodigital Adulthood is just saying “if I can just get through this week” over and over again until you die. 06:14 AM - 06 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 30. 𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖊 @_Blainee when your playing “cards against humanity” and you think your card is hilarious and then the person reads it out loud and not a single person laughs yeah, that shit hurts 11:44 PM - 05 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 31. female fronted is not a genre @urdadkylie my conversations w literally anyone: ⚪️ 🔵 🔵 🔵 🔵 🔵 ⚪️ ⚪️ 🔵 🔵 🔵 🔵 🔵 🔵 ⚪️ 12:46 PM - 05 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 32. Kyle @kkunta__ I'm a huge fan of that post-laundry feeling when you've got all your A-list clothes back in the game 08:52 PM - 03 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 33. laura @lauravryder Some of you were never the third friend that had to walk behind when the sidewalk is too narrow and it shows 06:51 PM - 01 Jan 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 34. GoHomeRoger @g_dynamo The “Netflix and chill” phrase was created when Netflix was trash. Now tho? You betta get the hell off me! This Netflix exclusive starting to heat up! 02:16 AM - 27 Jan 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 35. ♛ IG: 𝓶𝓬𝓶𝔁𝓬𝓿_𝓲 🛸✨ @anesuishec Mom: “Come help me get the groceries out of the car” Me: 08:32 AM - 14 Jan 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 36. Persian @persianthoughtz My “ehh.. I get paid again soon” attitude really gets me and my bank account in trouble 06:11 PM - 25 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite