I Ranked All 9 Thanksgiving Episodes Of "Friends" From Worst To Best, And I Stand By Every Word
Brad Pitt makes everything better.
Hello, folks! My name is Ehis and I LOVE THANKSGIVING! Like, I countdown 364 days a year until it's finally time for me to do nothing but eat turkey and pie with my loved ones while watching the boob tube.
Every year, my friends and family have a tradition of watching every single Thanksgiving episode of
Friends*, so what better time than now to rank all nine of them?
*We also watch every Thanksgiving episode of
Gossip Girl, but that's a post for another time.
NOW, before I get into the ranking, I would like to provide some criteria for what makes a stellar Thanksgiving episode. Like Rachel's trifle, it has many layers.
OK, there are only three layers:
1. There's justified drama.
2. There is the eating of Thanksgiving food.
3. There is pop culture significance.
So, here is my definitive ranking of every TG episode of
"The One With Rachel's Other Sister" (Season 9)
OK, this was hands down the WORST Thanksgiving episode of
Friends. Any program that can make me hate Christina Applegate is not favored by moi. For starters, the drama was not justified. It was Amy being a brat and insulting the gang of people who welcomed her to their Thanksgiving feast with open arms. Also, there was barely any eating of food! If anything, it was the OPPOSITE of eating because Rachel/Amy/Chandler broke all of Monica's expensive-ass wedding China.
Ranking: 0/5 Turkeys
"The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs" (Season 7)
The conflict in this episode is Chandler not liking dogs, which I just don't understand. The food was also not highlighted in this episode. But, the real crime of this ep was how insignificant it was. I always forget that this episode exists. If "The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs" was a president, it would be one of those lame duck presidents. This is the Rutherford B. Hayes of Thanksgiving episodes.
Ranking: 0.5/5 Turkeys
"The One Where Underdog Gets Away" (Season 1)
Everyone was SO MEAN AND UNGRATEFUL TO MONICA! She was out here making not one, not two, but THREE types of potatoes for her friends because they couldn't spend Thanksgiving with their respective families. BUT THEY DIDN'T EVEN EAT IT, because Rachel accidentally let the door lock behind her when they went up to the roof to see the rogue Underdog balloon, so all the food burned. The only saving grace of this episode was Ross feeling his baby kick for the first time.
Ranking: 1/5 Turkeys
"The One With All The Thanksgivings" (Season 5)
This episode BARELY had any food — it started after their feast was OVER! It did have conflict, but the conflict was problematic AF. It was Chandler being sad about calling Monica fat and then being mad that she accidentally chopped off his toe as a result of being called fat. However, the drama, although problematic, was justified on both Monica and Chandler's ends AND we FINALLY got some pop culture significance in the form of Monica wearing a turkey on her head when she tried to make up with Chandler.
Ranking: 2.5/5 Turkeys
"The One With The Late Thanksgiving" (Season 10)
In this season's edition of disrespecting Monica Gellar, ladies and gentleman, I present to you the Thanksgiving episode from Season 10. Though, as disrespectful as EVERYONE WAS for being over an hour late to the TG dinner Monica didn't even WANT TO MAKE, all three criteria were checked off. There was justified drama in the form of everyone being late to dinner. There — eventually — was the eating of Thanksgiving food before Joey ruined it. And, there was pop culture significance in the form of the photo seen above.
Ranking: 3/5 Turkeys
"The One With The Football" (Season 3)
OK, now we're getting to the good stuff. Up until recently, this episode doubled as my textbook for American football. Sibling rivalry is pretty justified as drama goes. There was the eating of Thanksgiving food. And, most importantly, pop culture significance in the form of the most iconic football game to ever be played. Ever.
Ranking: 3.5/5 Turkeys
"The One With Chandler In A Box" (Season 4)
Chandler Bing spending a majority of the episode in a box is the perfect blend of pop culture iconography and justified as heck drama. When Joey allowed for Chandler to come out of the box and chase after Cathy, my heart just about melted. Not to mention, they ate a pretty good meal.
Ranking: 4/5 Turkeys
"The One Where Ross Got High" (Season 6)
The conflict in this episode was two fold. Fold one was Chandler trying to get Mr. and Mrs. Gellar to like him since he and Monica were together and fold two was everyone trying to find out how they were going to eat Rachel's disgusting trifle. There was drama! There was intrigue! There was romance! And, most importantly, there was jam.
Ranking: 4.9/5 Turkeys
"The One With The Rumor" (Season 8)
Two words: Brad Pitt. He's the conflict, the pop culture significance, AND the Thanksgiving meal. Need I say more?
Ranking: 8/5 Turkeys TV and Movies
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