The Second Episode Of Clare's "Bach" Season Aired Last Night And It Was CRINGE, CRINGE, CRINGE

    And that's what you missed on Bach!

    Helloooo, Bach Nation! Welcome to your second installation of Bach in a Bite: The Official Bachelorette Recap:

    Now, this isn't meant to be a two-hour affair, so let's jump right in, shall we?

    Clare is still full steam ahead on all systems Dale. Which, if you've seen him, I totally understand, but there are still nearly two dozen other men who are there to date her.

    The first group date was an exploration of ~love languages~ — words of affirmation, physical touch, giving gifts, acts of service, and quality time. It was basically all the suitors spilling their heart out to Clare in front the rest of the suitors (aka strangers)...

    ...and this brings us to Cringe Moment™ number one, when all the suitors had to watch Clare and Dale rub up on one another.

    Cringe Moment™ number two occurred when no one jumped up to "steal Clare away for a sec."

    Cringe Moment™ number three occurred when Clare turned the dodgeball game into a STRIP DODGEBALL GAME, which got the blue team down to their birthday suits.

    If you could dodge a d*ck, you can dodge a ball.

    Cringe Moment™ number four came in the form of Blake Moynes crashing the group date to spend time with Clare, swooping in for a kiss, and then getting rejected.

    And Cringe Moment™ number five was when Clare sent Brandon home because he wanted to get to know Clare in person and not believe everything on the internet.

    There was no rose ceremony in this epiosde, so Brandon was the only one sent home. A fallen petal for this fallen suitor:

    Aaaannnnd, that's what you missed! Tune in next week — and the rest of the season — for the roses, the thorns, and everything in between!