Skip To Content
  • Halloween badge

35 Thoughts I Had While Watching "Hocus Pocus" For The First Time As An Adult

I can't believe all this virgin talk was allowed in a Disney movie.

'Tis the beginning of ~spooky season~, which means I am going to do nothing but consume copious amounts of candy and watch creepy movies all month long.

The CW

Now, as the number one lover of Halloween, I've seen my fair share of freaky flicks — ranging from It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown to The Blair Witch Project — but my number one favorite is none other than Hocus Pocus.

Walt Disney Pictures

HOWEVER, I haven't seen this film since my early teen years, and I thought the best way to kick off this pumpkin season was to do an adult rewatch of one of my favorite childhood films!

Walt Disney Pictures

So sit back, grab the candy corn, and travel with me back to Salem, Massachusetts.

1. HOLD UP! THIS IS A KENNY ORTEGA PRODUCTION? No wonder I love this movie so much.

Opening title card for "Hocus Pocus."
Walt Disney Pictures

I would love a High School Musical x Hocus Pocus crossover.

2. Did anyone else crush on a pre-cat Thackery Binx? Just me? OK.

Thackery Binx warning his friend to get his father.
Walt Disney Pictures

From Hocus Pocus to NCIS, this mans has had quite the career.

3. The Sanderson sisters walked so that the dementors from Harry Potter could run:

The Sanderson sisters sucking the soul from Emily Binx.
Walt Disney Pictures

Name a more iconic trio. I dare you.

4. OK, spending eternity as a cat...does not sound like a punishment to me.

Thackery Binx turned black cat.
Walt Disney Pictures

5. I LOVE that this movie revolves around a teen who had to move from Los Angeles to Salem, MA who lacks the ~Halloween spirit~.

Max wearing his tie-dye shirt and complaining about Halloween in class.
Walt Disney Pictures

6. THIS MANS REALY HIT ON THIS GIRL IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS! Homie's got game.

Max hitting on Allison in the middle of class.
Walt Disney Pictures

Well, she ended up giving the number back...so not that much game. But points for trying!

7. Why...is this something you would make fun of?

The Salem bullies making fun of Max in a graveyard.
Walt Disney Pictures

These bullies are def descendants of Goodie Proctor.

8. Max is 100% every '90s teen boy LA stereotype that exists all wrapped up into one.

Max playing on the drums while wearing tie-dye.
Walt Disney Pictures

9. ...yeah, Imma just leave this here.

Max's dad turning his hat sideways to help him better his "rapper" costume.
Walt Disney Pictures

10. DANI DENNISON IS AN ICON!

Dani dragging Max to heck and back.
Walt Disney Pictures

11. Alright, Max ain't shit for making queen Dani cry.

Max consoling Dani in a haystack after making her cry.
Walt Disney Pictures

Like, why is 8-year-old Dani more well adjusted than him?

12. Anyone who hurts Dani Dennison is gonna FEEL. MY. WRATH.

Dani predicting rich people are going to serve her cider and then being offered cider by Allison.
Walt Disney Pictures

13. Love the mis-en-scene of the Winnie Sanderson–shaped lollipop that Dani is munching on:

Dani eating a lollipop.
Walt Disney Pictures

14. Dani drives a hard bargain, but you gotta hustle if you wanna get anywhere in this world.

Max negotiating with Dani to get her to go with him on a date with Allison.
Walt Disney Pictures

"With tights, or it's no deal." MAKE HIM WORK, DANI!

15. AHHHH!

Max mentioning "hocus-pocus" next to a meme of Leo DiCaprio pointing at something.
Walt Disney Pictures / Sony Pictures

16. This boi had one job: not to light the black flame candle. And what did he do? HE LIT THE DAMN CANDLE!

Max lighting the black-flame candle.
Walt Disney Pictures

"You're a virgin who can't drive."

17. Carrie Bradshaw is shaking in her Manolo Blahniks.

Sarah Sanderson caressing her lucky rat tail.
Walt Disney Pictures

18. I CAN'T BELIEVE MY MOTHER LET ME WATCH THIS AS A CHILD:

Walt Disney Pictures

Kenny, you sly dog, you.

19. I know in this instance Allison is talking about the accidental death of Thackery, but every other event is all his fault.

Allison attempting to console Max.
Walt Disney Pictures

20. IS THAT GARRY MARSHALL??

Garry Marshall in a Devil costume next to Sarah Sanderson.
Walt Disney Pictures

After doing research, it is, in fact, Garry Marshall.

21. This is also my reaction when I enter the kitchen:

Walt Disney Pictures

22. I love TikTok:

Winnie and a TikTok teen with their hands in front of their face.
Walt Disney Pictures / TikTok

23. Winnie Sanderson singing "I Put a Spell on You" was a cultural reset:

Winnie Sanderson (Bette Midler) singing "I Put a Spell on You."
Walt Disney Pictures

24. OK, I know they're the "bad guys," but setting people on fire is tres barbaric:

Allison and Max watching the witches burn.
Walt Disney Pictures

There's still 30 minutes left in the movie, though, so I know the conflict isn't over yet.

25. Not only do you open the book of spells against Thack the cat's wishes, BUT YOU DON'T NOTICE THE RAY OF LIGHT EMANATING FROM IT?

Allison and Max reading from the cursed spell book.
Walt Disney Pictures

Pay attention, people!

26. Allison, sweetie. You deserve better.

Allison and Max about to kiss in the kitchen.
Walt Disney Pictures

27. See, while y'all were mackin', Dani got yeeted from her bed by the Sanderson sisters:

Allison screaming after Dani.
Walt Disney Pictures

Maybe they do deserve each other...

28. OK, Max. This was pretty quick thinking on your end.

Max addressing the Sanderson sisters.
Walt Disney Pictures

I suspect tricking the Sanderson sisters about the sun rising earlier — thus rendering their powers moot — was Allison's plan, but still.

29. LISTEN TO HER, MAX! This is like the witch version of the double-tap rule.

Dani addressing Max.
Walt Disney Pictures

Max, of course, did not listen. And the witches, of course, did not perish.

30. TALK ABOUT GOING OUT WITH A BANG, AMIRITE?

Winnie exploding onto a green mist.
Walt Disney Pictures

31. You had to save her life because you were the one who put it in danger after your virgin ass lit that candle:

Max consoling Dani.
Walt Disney Pictures

32. Dani and Thackery's bond is nothing short of iconic:

Dani's human hand touching Thackery's ghost hand.
Walt Disney Pictures

33. I'm getting serious Casper "can I keep you" vibes:

Thackery saying goodbye to Dani and Casper asking Kat if he could keep her.
Walt Disney Pictures / Universal Pictures

34. Famous. Last. Words.

Thackery and his sister walking off into the sunrise.
Walt Disney Pictures

Thackery Binx, 1993.

35. STILL HOPING FOR THAT SEQUEL:

The spell book opening its eye.
Walt Disney Pictures

Wow, what a roller coaster. I will say this: My POV on this movie hasn't changed in nearly a decade — Dani Dennison is a living icon and Max Dennison ain't shit.

Bravo

Can wait to watch this movie approx. 666 more times before Halloween.

Nostalgia Trip

Take a trip down memory lane that’ll make you feel nostalgia AF

Newsletter signup form