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13 Pieces Of Job Advice You Must Live To Learn

Face it: Getting a real job is the worst. Here are some tips to get you through the shit sandwich that is becoming responsible. Look out for Drifters — a new comedy on E4 — for more real talk. Premiering October 31 at 9 p.m.!

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So you've landed a job. Good on ya'.


Listen, though. You're going to make some mistakes. It's inevitable.

1. Don't tell yourself that you're going to go to bed at 8:30 and wake up early enough to go to the gym. You're lying. You're straight up lying to yourself.


Go to a bar on a Tuesday night and roll in 20 minutes late the next morning like every other normal twentysomething.

2. Don't offer to get everyone tea on your first day. You'll be the tea bitch from then on.

3. Try not to stay out too late on weeknights. You'll hate yourself come morning.


You're not going to stop, though. Are you.

4. If you're going to be an asshole to someone, make sure they were an asshole to you first.


That's just solid advice for, like, life.

5. To our knowledge, there is no office scenario in which it's necessary to deliver something with one's mouth.


So don't ever feel like you have to do this.

6. If you feel compelled to take a selfie at work, don't do it at your desk, you animal.

7. Do it in the bathroom, like any self-respecting young professional.

8. When the ladies of the office invite you to join them at their weekly Zumba class — don't. You'll regret it.

9. Don't burn any co-worker bridges.

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At least, not immediately.

10. Make friends with your HR representative.

11. Don't try to force office friendships.

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Just don't.

12. If you're coming back from a two-hour boozy lunch, just own it.

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13. And lastly — don't be this person.

Still unsure if you're ready to be a young professional? Yeah. You're not alone, there. Check out Drifters, premiering October 31 at 9 p.m. on E4.

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