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    Sep 26, 2014

    Is This Erotic Literature Or A James Joyce Love Letter?

    Is your mind as dirty as Jimmy J's? Find out with this raunchy quiz about Dublin's most famous wordsmith...and perv. (Warning: NSFW language throughout — duh.)

    by ,

    On June 16, 1904, James Joyce met the love of his life, Nora Barnacle. (He loved her so much, he set the entirety of his masterpiece Ulysses on the day they met, a day many Joyceans now celebrate as "Bloomsday.") Seventy-one years later, a collection of the very dirty letters he wrote to her was published, and the world was never quite the same. So, can you guess the raunchy, real-life Joyce quote from other authors' erotic literature?

    1. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Vladimir Nabokov!

      You might think this quote from Ada, or Ardor is somewhat sexy until you learn that — in classic, creepy Nabokov fashion — it’s all incest.

    2. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Henry Miller!

      In this Tropic of Cancer passage, the narrator reminisces about a prostitute named Germaine, with whom he cheated on his wife. Classy.

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    3. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Joyce!

      At one point, he describes how his lover Nora “had an arse full of farts that night” and he “fucked them out of [her], big fat fellows, long windy ones.” So, yeah, I’d say his love was pret-ty filthy.

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    4. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Joyce!

      It takes a truly confident person to liken their lover to a hog or sow. Bold move, Jim. Bold move.

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    5. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Lawrence Durrell!

      In The Black Book, Durrell is able to throw shade in an almost romantic and poetic way. (“Small bud” though? Really? Rude.)

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    6. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Pierre Choderlos de Laclos!

      Not explicitly erotic, Les Liaisons dangereuses (or The Dangerous Liaisons) proves that the French are experts at the restrained-but-sensual. Oui oui.

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    7. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Nicholson Baker!

      Blunt and direct, the quote seems confident but contains an unmistakable hint of desperation. It’s from Baker’s novel Vox — about a steamy phone-sex conversation — famously gifted to Bill Clinton by none other than Monica Lewinsky.

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    8. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Pablo Neruda!

      More poetry than fiction, this quote is sweet in a figurative sense but dark in a literal one. When it comes to romantic sentiments, eating your partner’s skin is probably toward the bottom of the list of things you should say (unless you’re both into that kind of thing???).

    9. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was D.H. Lawrence!

      This Lady Chatterley’s Lover quote abuses the C-word...and dialect. But it’s only to emphasize the class difference between Lady Chatterley and her gamekeeper, so it’s kind of acceptable?

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    10. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Joyce!

      Somehow he manages to turn an extremely sexual sentiment into a loving one, proving the power of words trumps perversity. (I mean, Nora had to like something about the guy, right?)

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    11. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Pauline Réage!

      Story of O offers a concise lesson in BDSM, but it could be taking the subject a little too far. So long as everything is consensual, though, there’s nothing wrong with a little experimentation under the covers.

    12. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was E.L. James!

      ...of course. Expository. Dramatic. Clichéd. Yep, it can only be Fifty Shades of Grey.

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    13. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Joyce!

      In this letter, he’s demanding to know whether or not Nora had been with another man. But it’s not the ramblings of a jealous man — quite the opposite, in fact! Later, he goes on to say “even if you told me with your own lips that half the red-headed louts of Galway had had a fuck at you before me I would still rush at you with desire.” ~True love.~

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    14. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Hokusai!

      It’s the translated Chinese characters in the background of the painting The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife, which depicts two octopi seducing a naked woman. Thankfully it’s only a “short story” (of sorts) and not a whole novel, but who knew tentacle porn could look so beautiful?

      Via commons.wikimedia.org
    15. Kristin Rossi
      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It was Joyce!

      After describing the many ways he’d like to have relations with Nora via letter, he apparently finishes himself off. But just imagine the damage he could have done had sexting been a thing back then.

      Via commons.wikimedia.org

    Joyce quotes from here