Are You Going To Be Late For Work?
You went out of your way to get coffee for everyone at the office but your manager still reprimands you. That's the last time you do something nice for your co-workers.
It was Happy Hour and you thought you paced yourself pretty well but when you wake up, your head is throbbing and have a face tattoo. You call an uber and make a note to ask your friends what happened last night.
You knew those shrimp smelled a bit off but you wanted surf and turf. You wake up in the middle of the night with stomach pains and end up destroying your bathroom. You want to call in sick but have to do a presentation and everyone's counting on you. You chug some Pepto and hope for the best.
Fuck! The cars aren't moving. You're stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. You put your car in park and try desperately not to have a breakdown.
You took the day off to relax. But feel guilty all day because you feel like you're going to get caught. Your friend invites you to lunch where you see your nosy co-worker Doris and you pray she doesn't tell on you. The rest of the day you try to come up with a story to explain yourself and hope your boss doesn't fire you.
There's no traffic, you feel great, and even woke up 5 minutes early to pack a lunch. It's Friday.Your co-worker Sam bought you a coffee and your boss congratulates you on the excellent presentation you made yesterday. You find $20 on the street and a cute puppy wants you to pet it. It's the best day of your life!
One more episode! One more episode! is what you chant as you binge watch your new favorite show. You see that it's 3am and you have to get up at 6am but you don't care. The show is just so good!
You hit the snooze button too many times and you woke up by a call from your manager asking you why you aren't at work. You get out of your bed at lightning speed and forget to put on pants. Thank goodness it's casual Friday.
Your boss sucks and the people you work with are a bunch of idiots. You wish a bitch would, so you can roast them and quit this bitch!