1.
Due to decreases in sunlight, Summer is winter for vampires #DeepThoughts
2.
A bike is just a unicycle with a training wheel.
3.
I bet puppies have a lot of misguided guilt because humans are always crying when they see them.
4.
Is cereal soup?
5.
why do babies cry so much. what could they possibly be so profoundly sad about
6.
when u see a cute service dog and u want to pet him but u know he has an important job he trained his whole life for
7.
What if "I Want You To Want Me" was the ballad of a ball of pizza dough searching for a friend. *i need you to knead me*
8.
Typos are caused by stuttering keyboards.
9.
If everyone is telling you not to give into peer pressure, you need to resist peer pressure and give in to peer pressure.
10.
Wow, I just realized why Drumsticks are called Drumsticks.
11.
The winter wouldn't be so bad if it was warm and sunny. So basically if the winter was just summer it would be pretty nice... #deepthoughts
12.
if you make a joke and no one is around to laugh is it funny?? answer: yes because i always laugh at my own jokes
13.
Sometimes I'm perplexed poop smells the way it does. I mean it used to be food!! #deepthoughts
14.
Exciting thing about moving into a studio apartment: "drinking in the bedroom" is just "drinking!"
15.
The thing that you're seeking is also seeking you
16.
"If your water broke in the pool, would you know it?" #deepthoughts
17.
Does carbonated water just taste like regular water when it goes flat?
18.
A "butt dial" is completely different from a "booty call." That's just silly.
19.
Would we really die for each other, if we were JUST cool for the summer? #deepthoughts
20.
Owls look like cats who zipped up their faces.
There's no such thing as a good summer without getting coned.
So grab a Drumstick and think some deep thoughts, friends. #GetConed