13. Teen Wolf (1985)
Hotness: 3. Sorry, Michael.
Wolf Power: 1. Apart from increased ups, a case of being hirsute, and the ability to rock a letterman jacket, he’s really got nothing.
Transformation: 4. Bonus points given for MJF looking like he’s about to sneeze the whole time.
Total points: 8
12. Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” (1983)
Hotness: 2. Sorry, other Michael.
Wolf Power: 2. Other than menacing his date, Wolfy MJ doesn’t accomplish much in 13 minutes.
Transformation: 6. Bonus points for being the only werewolf with whiskers.
Total points: 10
11. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Hotness: 1. Not that we didn’t all have that sort of dad-crush on Remus, but that is one UGLY werewolf. Serious demerit, loss of style points.
Wolf Power: 4. Theoretically dangerous, but the gangly-factor again takes its toll.
Total points: 11
7. Hemlock Grove
Hotness: 4. Landon Liboiron is a cutie, but when you look at his brother, Bill Skarsgård doesn’t quite measure up.
Wolf Power: 4.
Transformation: 8. Wolfing in Hemlock Grove gets gnarly. If you need proof, watch the video, but be warned: it’s not for the faint of heart or weak of constitution.
Total points: 16
5. Teen Wolf (2011)
Hotness: 10. All hail Tyler Posey. And Dylan O’Brien. And don’t get me started on Tyler Hoechlin.
Wolf Power: 3. This is a tough one, because on one hand just look at him. Look how doofy he looks. His ears are just pointier and he has some putty over his nose bridge. But on the other hand, there’s also this…
3. Twilight (2008)
Hotness: 8. Taylor Lautner without a shirt on is what dreams are made of. I don’t care if you’re Team Jacob, Team Edward, or Team Kill Every Character in Their Sleep.
Wolf Power: 8. Conceivable or not, they can rip the heads off of creatures too invincible even to kill themselves, and that’s gotta be saying something.
2. The Vampire Diaries (2009)
Hotness: 10. Michael Trevino shirtless, look it up.
Wolf Power: 6
Transformation: 10. All the bone-breaking and special effects of the Hemlock Grove transformation, without the feeling of nausea and slight compulsion to check up on your eye sockets.
Total points: 26
1. Van Helsing
Hotness: 10. Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman. Hugh JACKMAN.
Wolf Power: 10
If werewolves could be sexy, this werewolf would be the sexiest-yet-most-terrifying of them all. It is the head bitch in charge of all werewolves. It would kill you dead and you’d be sort of okay with it.
Total points: 29
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