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Vulture Suspected of Spying for Israel Freed by Saudi Arabia
Saudi Arabia has announced that they are ready to release the avian suspected of being an Israeli Mossad agent. They have determined that the tracking device on the bird was not linked to espionage. It has been reported that the influential Saudi nature authority, Bandar bin Saud, was the catalyst of this recent enlightenment. The Society for the Protection of Nature in Israel advised that it is both joyous and festive at the news. Yay!
Hunter Lured Israeli Vulture With “dead Sheep”
Now they're just being modest! This isn't just any vulture - it's an Israeli Mossad agent! Sadly, it appears to have veered off course and flown over the famous hunter Sayyad Al Rashidi's land. With his vast hunting skills and years of experience out on the field, Sayyad was able to quickly butcher a sheep and offer choice cuts of succulent mutton chop to the inquisitive vulture. After the vulture landed to sample the juicy chops, Sayyad quickly used his visualization skills to liken it to an "aircraft which needs to taxi on the tarmac before it flies", which enabled him to know exactly how long he had to capture it. Just TOO ez. I pity the fool that attempts to best Sayyad Al Rashidi in a battle of wits!!
Flesh Descending in a Shower
What's the big deal about dead birds and fish anyway? Back in the old days it used to rain flesh. And people ate it.
Waseca Man Gives Ex Explosive-Rigged Vibrator
He intended to trigger the device while inserted into one of the females and "blow them up." Indeed!
Man Causes Minor Anal Wounds in China, Receives 1yr Sentence
The current legal definition of rape is "a man's penetration of the vagina without the woman's consent," according to Criminal Law of the People's Republic of China. Unfortunately for the perp, "minor anal wounds" were discovered during a medical exam. Damn!
Man Grows Horn On Head
Huang Yuanfan, 84, said the nub started growing two years ago as a small bump but just grew and grew.
Dead Birds in Sweden
Between 50 to 100 dead Jackdaws on a street in Falköping southeast of Skövde in Sweden. Good eatins'.