"First of all, I got this big-ass Texas flag for just $29.99! Eff yeah, Cyber Monday!!"
"Next up is this nice bag-thingy I bought for my wife. I think I might just have to keep it for myself, though. Hee hee hee!"
"I got some Wa-ang, I got some Wa-ang."
"Mother-effing oboe, mother-effers!"
"Gotta get a refund on this darn cat. The listing said it was neutered, dagnabbit!"
"Hot damn, virtual reality is way cool!"
"My boy George W. was selling some of his Richard Simmons portraits. I think I got the best one!"
"I already got bored of that dumb oboe!"