4. Step 4: Try to stay off Twitter.
6. Step 6: Say “hi” to John King but don’t give him the impression that he’s ever going to get his own show again.
7. Step 7: Take a deep breath and remember that none of the shows on CNN need “supersizing.”
9. … Ted Turner too.
11. Step 10: Make certain you are sitting at the cool kids’ table during lunch.
12. Step 11: Don’t forget to ask Piers Morgan if he’s ever been properly in love.
13. Step 12: Bond with staffers by jumping off the giant CNN sign outside.
14. Step 13: Get a “Magic Wall” installed in your office because you can.
15. Step 14: Wolf hasn’t had a vacation since 1995. Give the poor guy some time off.
16. Step 15: Politely ask Roland Martin to please stop bringing the funk on your network.
17. Step 16: Nope.
19. Step 18: Bro-down with Carville by trading hairstyle tips.
20. Step 19: Before you log out of Gmail, send around a memo announcing the resurrection of “CNN After Dark.”
- President Trump said he will skip the White House correspondents' dinner. Yesterday, he called the media "the enemy of the people."
- Tom Perez has been named chair of the Democratic National Committee. He was Obama's Labor Secretary.
- Churches across the US are prepping an underground railroad system for immigrants who fear deportation under Trump.
- Here's the beef: Rapper Remy Ma dragged Nicki Minaj in a new diss track, who fired back with a Beyoncé endorsement 😱