1. "Don't you miss drinking?"
2. "I would never bring a child into this world right now."
3. "Are you afraid you're going to tear?"
4. "Have you thought about naming the baby after your father-in-law, Herb?"
5. "This game is kind of dumb."
6. "I understand EXACTLY what you're going through! Like when I adopted my kitten..."
7. "When you were taking Jäger shots and hooking up with randos in college I never thought you'd be a parent someday!"
8. "You do realize you'll never be able to go out again, right?"
9. "Aren't you afraid you're going to screw this kid up?"
10. "I wish I had an excuse to eat that much."
11. "I have a great tutorial on Kegels I'll send you."
12. "I'm so jealous you're getting some relaxation time in during your maternity leave!"
13. "Aren't you afraid it's going to hurt?"
14. "Are you going to get a DNA test?"
15. "Are you worried you're going to poop on the delivery table?"
16. "Your mother-in-law said she'd like to be in the delivery room with you. I told her you'd be down with it."
17. "Such a cute name! I'm totally naming my new puppy that."
18. "Aren't you sick of being pregnant?"
19. "Do you think you'll ever get your body back?"
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