1. We'd love it if you were ready to order by the time you get to the till.
2. And we'd really rather not sift through 25 boxes of Kids Club Meals to find the perfect toy for your child.
3. We hate it when you order a Big King.
4. But 99% of customers order the Whopper Meal anyway.
5. All of our burgers are flame-grilled, and then reheated in the microwave later.
6. And the freshest burgers are always at the back of the chute.
7. We try our best to make your food look like the pictures, but it's really hard.
8. Please don't ask us for the calorie count of your food.
9. And please don't order your meal while you're on the phone.
10. Burgers are amazing, until you are surrounded by them for 10 hours a day.
11. We secretly enjoy up-selling because it means we get to ask whether you'd like to "go large"?
12. We can tell when you order two meals for you and "your friend" and secretly eat them both yourself.
13. Our low-slung hats are really good for hiding our hangovers.
14. But the unlimited free fizzy drinks are even better.
15. There is no job quite as awful as cleaning the restaurant floor.
16. When we say the shakes are out, we're lying.
17. Nope, you can't order a Big Mac here.
18. We're always working out when our next break is.
19. And we usually spend it inventing incredible bespoke meals.
20. Working the drive-through means seeing people at their absolute slobbiest.
21. But working the late shift means enduring endless drunken chat.
22. But the best thing about the job is wearing the crown whenever the shop floor goes quiet.
