"Trek And The City" Twitter Parody Is Exactly What It Sounds Like

Who knew Starfleet language was so dirty? If this premise isn’t a SyFy series by the end of the year, I’ll eat my hat.

1.

Needless to say, the Prime Directive wasn’t the only thing Samantha violated that night.— Star Trek & The City

2.

The photon torpedo had created a wormhole big enough for the ship to pass through, but Marcus’s deceit had torn a hole in Stanford’s heart.— Star Trek & The City

3.

Samantha was stunned to learn that pon farr occurred just once every seven years; her insatiable urge to mate kicked in after three Cosmos.— Star Trek & The City

4.

He may have been a holographic projection driven by advanced computer algorithms, but he was more real than any man I had ever known.— Star Trek & The City

5.

The Universal Translator could decipher countless alien languages, but I was still no closer to understanding Big.— Star Trek & The City

6.

The Borg may have added Stanford's biological and technological distinctiveness to their own, but they could never take his fabulousness.

— Star Trek & The City (@trekandthecity)

The Borg may have added Stanford’s biological and technological distinctiveness to their own, but they could never take his fabulousness.— Star Trek & The City

7.

A party of Klingons had taken the bridge, but as Samantha saw it, being taken by Klingons was always a party.

— Star Trek & The City (@trekandthecity)

A party of Klingons had taken the bridge, but as Samantha saw it, being taken by Klingons was always a party.— Star Trek & The City

8.

Charlotte was devastated. If we could successfully engage Species 8472 in diplomacy, she wondered, then why couldn't Harry pop the question?

— Star Trek & The City (@trekandthecity)

Charlotte was devastated. If we could successfully engage Species 8472 in diplomacy, she wondered, then why couldn’t Harry pop the question?— Star Trek & The City

9.

The vacuum of space may be lonely, but space has nothing on a single girl waiting by her phone on a Friday night.

— Star Trek & The City (@trekandthecity)

The vacuum of space may be lonely, but space has nothing on a single girl waiting by her phone on a Friday night.— Star Trek & The City

10.

"Things run better with a good-looking man in charge," Samantha said. "Look at Khan. No one wanted to fuck him, so he fucked everyone."

— Star Trek & The City (@trekandthecity)

“Things run better with a good-looking man in charge,” Samantha said. “Look at Khan. No one wanted to fuck him, so he fucked everyone.”— Star Trek & The City

11.

As we sealed the Bridge and transferred remaining power to engineering, I wondered - who really had the power in Big's and my relationship?

— Star Trek & The City (@trekandthecity)

As we sealed the Bridge and transferred remaining power to engineering, I wondered - who really had the power in Big’s and my relationship?— Star Trek & The City

12.

Much like the hull on Decks 2, 5 and 11, Aidan's trust for me was irreparably breached.

— Star Trek & The City (@trekandthecity)

Much like the hull on Decks 2, 5 and 11, Aidan’s trust for me was irreparably breached.— Star Trek & The City

13.

If Stanford had learned one thing during his time on the ship, it was this: Never fall for a security officer in a red shirt.

— Star Trek & The City (@trekandthecity)

If Stanford had learned one thing during his time on the ship, it was this: Never fall for a security officer in a red shirt.— Star Trek & The City

14.

Charlotte despaired that the only thing less hospitable than the Demon Class planet's surface was her own uterus

— Star Trek & The City (@trekandthecity)

Charlotte despaired that the only thing less hospitable than the Demon Class planet’s surface was her own uterus— Star Trek & The City

15.

The modified Borg nanoprobes were loaded into the warhead, but in Holodeck 1, Samantha was experiencing a very different kind of probe.

— Star Trek & The City (@trekandthecity)

The modified Borg nanoprobes were loaded into the warhead, but in Holodeck 1, Samantha was experiencing a very different kind of probe.— Star Trek & The City

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

 
  Your Reaction?
  REACT WITH GIF
 

    Contributions

    Now Buzzing