If you want your crush to like you, change everything about yourself.
Lying about your age is a totally acceptable thing.
Stalking is the quickest way to man's heart...and bed.
Guys love it when you act uninterested.
Passing out in the home of seven strange guys is a safe and sane choice.
A guy cutting in on you at the club is hot, not creepy.
Boys are super cute when they kidnap you.
A man who lies about his background would never lie to you about other things.
Waking up to assault is no cause for alarm.
Because silence is consent, duh.
Marrying a dude you just met will in no way end terribly.
Because if you try hard enough, you can change him.
Even if you're a princess, your place is taking care of your man/men.
No matter the grievance, you can buy your way to forgiveness.
And always remember, it's what's on the outside that counts.