If you can't accept that a man could be deeply in love with a man made out of the body parts of other men, then maybe you're the one with the twisted brain of a criminal.
Son of Godzilla never calls anymore. Was I a bad parent? I guess I could have spent more time with him tossing around the old football stadium.
Look, I know it can be tough to get over someone when you see reminders of them all around your house, but if it bothers you that much, maybe you should move that statue into your basement.
Almost all werewolves tend to be excessively 'frisky.' It's bad enough when a pet tries to hump your leg, but it's even worse when he tries to sever it first.
Dear 'News of the Weird' editor, I am writing to correct several inaccuracies in your article about the mysterious creature you call 'el chupacabra,' or 'the goat-sucker.' First off, I have a name: Ernesto. And wile I appreciate your interest in my goat-sucking accomplishments, draining livestock is just one of my many interests.
My biggest problem is that girls don't want to go out with a friendly ghost. You get stuck in the friendly ghost zone, which is worse than Purgatory.