David is some guy who studied English in college but likes to learn about just about everything. Current interests include beards, gnocchi, humus, sustainable things, and snarkyisms.
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    Help A Danish Mother/Babe Find Her Baby’s Daddy

    If you happened to have been vacationing in Denmark about a year and a half ago and remember meeting a cute Danish girl named “Karen” at the in the Custom House Bar — perhaps you shared some drinks and talked about “heuge” (sp??) — at any rate, you ended up back at her place and in the morning, found it necessary to slip out quietly before she awoke… If that sounds vaguely familiar, well - you might need to watch this. You might also have an extreeemely cute baby son named August. Oh and PS, you’re a dick. Watch Video ›

  • Photoshop Contest - What Movie Were They Watching On Air Force One?

    Today The Huffington Post front-paged a photo of the White House staff on Air Force One enjoying some in-flight entertainment. The photo seems to indicate they were watching a movie with several naked bros in a cave. To answer the mystery of ‘what they were *actually* watching, feel free to jump on over to the site (hint: it involves bipedal simains and a recently-deceased former President of the NRA ‘damn’ing them ‘all to hell’), but I think we can make this a little more interesting. What movies were do we think they were really watching on Air Force One? Submit answers below. View Image ›

  • “Will You Have Sex With My 21-Year Old Down Syndrome Son?”

    Lucy Baxter is putting out an all-points-bulletin Booty Call to summon up a suitable mate (or “lady of the night”) to de-virginize her 21-year old down syndrome son, Otto. She’s looking to connect him with ladies into aspiring actors and like “ham pizza.” Ladies, act now! This is a limited time offer.

  • Sri Lankan Suicide Bomber Attack Caught On Video

    A suicide attack in Sri Lanka that left 10 dead and 40 wounded at a Muslim community celebration was caught on tape by a Sri Lankan videographer. Apparently the attack “appeared to target six government ministers attending the community event, including the country’s oil and telecommunications ministers.” No humorous punch line here, folks. This is just terrible.

  • ApplySpace Makes Dating Applications for the Normally-Challenged.

    We’ve all seen the outdated “Application to Date My Daughter”, but what if you could make one for yourself? ApplySpace’s motto is “Making Dating Easier One Application At A Time,” and they attempt to do just that- by allowing you to screen all of your potential suitors through some random personal questions. If you already have a boyfriend/girlfriend - take heart! ApplySpace also has applications for your very own Ninja or Pirate!

  • A Message to the “Lost Generation”

    A very interesting video with an encouragingly hopeful message to the artistic and idealistic “Millennial Generation”, which many disenchanted Baby Boomers are calling “lost”, “confused”, and “self-obsessed.” For the record I think both sides are probably right, but this video’s message is something that we all need to hear. Watch Video ›

  • How to Lose $150,000 Quick

    John Rempel of Leamington, Ontario lost a reported sum of $150,000 on a Nigerian email scam in which he believed he was going to receive $12.8 million dollars due him from the death of a wealthy relative in the UK. Rempel was apparently strung a long for a year and made countless payments, borrowing money from friends, relatives, and his parents before realizing he had been had. Now, jobless, penniless, friendless, and inheritance-less, he’s kind of majorly bummed out…

  • No Birthday Cakes for Kids Named “Adolf Hitler.”

    A PA ‘Shoprite’ grocery store gracefully refused its custom-made birthday cake service to the family of 3-year old “Adolf Hitler Campbell,” the son of two very opinionated and well-tattooed rural PA White Supremacists. The jury is still out on whether this story occurred in one of the “Pro-America” parts of Pennsylvania or not. Note to self: don’t give your 3 children the middle names “Adolf Hitler”, “Honszlynn Hinler”, and “Aryan Nation” (no kidding — she actually did that). [bonus: photo gallery of the birth certificates and family home here]

  • Lingerie “For Him?”

    Despite tough economic times, a surprising new fashion is being marketed to the masses - Male lingerie. Usher and others are adding products to the market, trying to see if they can make mankinis, mantyhose, male girdles, garters, and beaded thongs a trend worth buying into. But one question still hasn’t been answered to my satisfaction - do women really want to see their men wearing this type of nonsense?

  • 11 Year-Old Uses His Dying Wish to Help the Homeless

    This is NOT your typical sob story. Life is hard. Sometimes it gets overwhelming and feels unfair. When things are bad, it can be easy to focus on myself and how bad my problems are. But an 11-year old boy from Washington in the fight of his life manages to look around himself and do something different. By what he does, he sets an example of selflessness and wisdom, and maybe shares a lesson on living for everyone else who’s staying around. This kid may only be 11 years old, but I think he ‘got it.’ Watch Video ›

  • Arrested Development Movie is a GO!

    In a recent interview with Collider, former castmember Jeffrey Tambor confirmed rumors that the producers and writers had recieved a greenlight from the Studio, and says that the movie is definitely happening. For fans who have been watching the 3-seasons back-to-back on DVD, this is just about as exciting as Obama winning the election. For fans of the show who voted for Obama, its double joy.

  • Mission Bicycles

    Mission Bicycles are simple steel-frame, fixed-gear bikes, loving hand-made in the Mission District of San Francisco. They’re made by bikers for bikers, but the coolest part is that they’re completely customizable with custom paint, wheels, rims, and gear options. Waaay cooler than whatever you’re currently riding. Check out the Flickr albums and the Creator’s Blog for much more amazingness.

  • Zombie Combat Club

    Fact: During a zombie outbreak, 98% of individuals will have to kill an undead ghoul without the use of a firearm. The Zombie Combat Club has a single objective - to educate the public on effective hand-to-hand combat techniques to eradicate the threat of the living dead. We are not a school, dojo, or military unit. We are a civilian group dedicated to providing accurate situational combat theory and education to fight the walking dead, and survive.” — This site is so hard-core and informative it makes me wonder if it is written by a real-life embodiment of Dwight Schrute…

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