back to top

Bring your A game this holiday season and mark off all the items on your holiday shopping list at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Posted on

DSG Sports proudly presents exclusive final-round coverage of the Dick's Sporting Goods Tetrathalon. The shelves are stocked and the conditions are ideal here at Roosevelt Field Mall in Garden City, New York, for tonight's competition.

Hello again, everybody! Chris Unera here. I'll be your commentator this evening for this hyped-up competition that will determine bragging rights in the sporting goods shopping world for years to come. After years of shopping, our athletes will have their mental capacity, quickness, balance, and strength tested in this grand contest. But without further ado, let's meet tonight's participants:

Ben Rosen, Rena Eleazar, Alex Pai, and Casey Cline will all enter the store this evening, but only one will emerge the victor. With dozens of mannequins in attendance and millions tuning in around the world, it's time to get this show started! Hopping right into heat 1 action, we're taking you live to the footwear department for Challenge #1.

The first event of the evening is a fan favorite: Shoe Wall Memory. Sporting goods shopping calls for a good head on your shoulders to look for deals and having a game plan before stepping foot into any store. Testing our athletes' cognitive abilities, they'll have 30 seconds to try to memorize the following shoe wall:

After their allotted 30 seconds expires, the shoes will be taken down from the wall, and the contestants will try their best to re-create each shoe placement in the fastest time possible. Looks like our champions of sporting goods shopping are ready to begin. Let's see who has the neurons to prevail.

Wow! What a performance! Pai dominates and takes an early lead (5 points) by correctly placing all 10 shoes in 26 seconds. Cline brings in second place (8 correct for 3 points), followed by Rosen (7 correct for 2 points), and Eleazar (5 correct for 1 point). With three more heats to go, it's still anybody's game.

Holidays. Professional and amateur sporting goods shoppers train all year long for a chance of gift-giving glory. The adrenaline-pumping action of holiday shopping makes its tetrathalon event debut up next on DSG Network.

In this challenge, we provided a different holiday wish list to each contestant. Pai, Rosen, Cline, and Eleazar went throughout the store in search of their listed items and returned as quickly as they could to the checkout lane. Let's check out the highlights from their runs:

Pai

  • Items on his list: (1) Lawrence asked for a new baseball bat. (2) Tiffany needs a small, red, long-sleeved workout top.

Eleazar

  • Items on her list: (1) Chris asked Santa for something to relieve his muscle pain after workouts. (2) Erwin wanted a new soccer ball for his spring league.

Rosen

  • Items on his list: (1) Paul wants "something to take his tailgating game to the next level." (2) Cat has a brand-new volleyball on the top of her list.

Cline

  • Items on her list: (1) All Mike wants for Christmas is "golf stuff." (2) Blair asked for a new lacrosse helmet.

After two events, Cline has taken the lead with 8 total points. She's followed by Pai (7 points), Eleazar (4 points), and Rosen taking up the rear (3 points). Rosen will need to perform well in the next heat to keep pace with the leaders.

Our next event takes us to the lush green fields of the second-floor golf department.

Dizzy putter is the name of the game. Here, our athletes will test their balance as they spin around their putter. After gathering their senses, they'll take aim and try to sink the shot. Let's take you to live action:

WHAT. A. SHOT. Let's see that again with our DSG isolated instant replay slo-mo action technology. Not only does this patented technology slow down the footage, but it also has the ability to instantaneously edit other participants' golf balls from the shot. Let's take another look:

With that sensational shot, Rosen is back in the hunt for the Dick's Sporting Goods tetrathelon. With three events down and just one more to go, the current standings are: Cline in first with 9 points, Pai and Rosen tied for second with 8 points each, and in last, Eleazar with just 5 points.

With 5 points up for grabs in the last event, it's still anyone's game.

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the final event of the night? This last challenge will call into question our sporting goods shopping champions' muscular fortitude. At the conclusion of our shopping journeys, all of us must sometimes face a sheer test of strength with the amount of shopping bags to be carried to the car. In this final, grueling head-to-head challenge, our athletes will have to perpendicularly hold two 13-pound tote bags filled with the following:

With the title of most prolific sporting goods shopper up for grabs, we begin the competition with Eleazar versus Rosen.

Woo! What a thrilling victory! Rosen walks away the victor, holding the bags up for one minute compared to Eleazar's 46 seconds. Rosen will take on the winner of our next matchup: Cline versus Pai.

With disappointment written all over her face, Cline was only able to clock in a 0:12 hold. On the flip side, this left Pai this round's victor. His victory set up a final winner-take-all matchup against Rosen.

This.

Is.

It!

For all the marbles. Mano a mano. Let's watch as these two sporting goods gladiators approach their respective totes. Certainly a sense of tension is in the air as we head into this final showoff. Here...we...go!

Down goes Rosen! Down goes Rosen!

Ladies and gentlemen, Alex Pai is your 2016 Dick's Sporting Goods tetrathelon champion!

Thanks to all our viewers for tuning in to this DSG broadcast. Until next year, this is Chris Unera wishing you a happy and joyful holiday season.


Clothing: Cline (top, bottom, shoes); Eleazar (top, bottom, shoes); Pai and Rosen (top, bottom, shoes).

Photos by Aubree Lennon and Sarah Stone. Illustrations by Kirun Kunju and Kevin Valente. © BuzzFeed

Special thanks to Tim, Pat, John, Phil, and all the associates at the Roosevelt Field Mall in Garden City, NY.


And now for a word from our sponsor, Dick's Sporting Goods.

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com